From Plate to Play: Encouraging Your Child's Healthiest Choices

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Thank you Judy Stephens of GivenLove.org for contributing to my blog! If you are interested in being a foster parent, please check out her site for resources for the journey. She takes you from the decision to become a foster parent to finances, parenting skills, fostering as a grandparent, social media and even adoption. Her content is practical and inspirational!

By Judy Stephens

Ensuring children grow up making healthy choices is pivotal for their long-term well-being. From early childhood through the teenage years, parents and guardians have numerous opportunities to guide their development in positivedirections. This Family Connections Coaching article explores practical strategies for supporting children as they learn to navigate the world of health and wellness. It offers a toolkit of resources for fostering an environment where making healthy decisions becomes second nature.

Discover Fun in Fitness

Introducing your children to activities that align with their interests is a cornerstone of cultivating a healthy lifestyle. Whether it’s a sport that hones their teamwork skills or a drama club that boosts their confidence, each child thrives in different settings. Encourage your children to explore various activities until they find something they are passionate about. This promotes physical health and enhances their social and emotional development. Regular participation in enjoyable activities can lead to lifelong habits of regular exercise and personal growth.

Cultivate a Taste for Nutrition

Transforming mealtime into a journey of nutritional discovery is essential for developing healthy eating habits. Start by integrating a variety of whole foods into daily meals, emphasizing the importance of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and proteins. Explain the benefits of each food group in simple terms, such as how carrots improve vision or why lean proteins are good for muscle growth. This educational approach helps children make informed choices and develops their interest in nutrition.

Engage Their Culinary Curiosity

Involving your children in meal planning can spark their interest in healthy eating. Ask them about new fruits, vegetables, or recipes they want to explore. Perhaps plan a monthly "adventure meal" where everyone in the family tries something new. This makes them feel valued and broadens their palate and understandingof global cuisines, laying the groundwork for adventurous eating that is both nutritious and exciting.

Education as a Pathway to Dreams

Initiating conversations about future aspirations with your children can deeply influence their approach to education and personal development. If enhancing your qualifications has been on your mind, flexible online programs provide a viable solution to juggle your educational pursuits alongside familial duties. Should you decide to pursue advanced studies like a master’s in nursing, you’ll open doors to specialized fields such as nurse education or administration. Consider this option, as it not only furthers your career but also serves as a powerful model of commitment and lifelong learning for your children.

Challenge Media Norms

Today’s media often presents unrealistic images of beauty and success that can affect your child’s self-esteem. It’s essential to have open conversations about body image and media representation. Encourage your children to appreciate their bodies for what they can do rather than how they appear. Highlight the diversity of human bodies and emphasize that health and ability come in many shapes and sizes. This can foster a positive self-image and help them critically assess the media they consume.

Reinforce Positive Choices

Give them positive reinforcement whenever your children make healthy choices, whether opting for a nutritious snack over junk food or spending their afternoon at a sports practice instead of on passive activities. Praise their decisions and explain the benefits of their choices to reinforce these behaviors. This positive feedback loop supports them in making healthy decisions and builds their confidence in managing their own well-being. Encouraging such habits actively contributes to their development into well-rounded individuals who value health and personal growth.

Creating a supportive environment where children are encouraged to make healthy choices is an ongoing journey that requires patience, understanding, and creativity. As parents and guardians, the commitment to nurturing these habits is one of the most significant investments in a child’s future. Adopting the strategies discussed, you can help lay a robust foundation for your children’s health, ensuring they carry these valuable lessons throughout their lives.

Generational Connections: Keys to a Happy Multigenerational Household

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Another informative article from Dean Burgess on fostering peace and joy in a multigenerational home! Thanks Dean!

By Dean Burgess of Excitepreneur

In a world where homes are shared across generations, from grandparents to children, the fabric of daily life is woven with threads of love, wisdom, and energy. Yet this unique cohabitation arrangement also brings to light the complexities of balancing diverse needs and expectations. Creating a harmonious multigenerational home is cultivating understanding, patience, and mutual respect among all family members. This article from Family Connections Coaching serves as a guide to navigating these dynamics effectively, aiming to enrich the living experience for everyone involved and foster a setting brimming with peace and joy.

Harmonizing Chores and Responsibilities

The equitable distribution of chores and responsibilities is the foundation of a well-functioning household. Tailoring tasks to align with each person’s strengths and preferences ensures efficiency and infuses a sense of enjoyment into everyday duties. Implementing a rotation system for chores can prevent feelings of unfairness and build a culture of equity and cooperation. Such an approach encourages all family members to contribute to the household’s well-being, reinforcing the importance of teamwork and shared responsibility.

Fostering Open Communication

Communication is the lifeline of any relationship but even more so in a multigenerational household. Establishing a routine for family meetings to discuss daily routines, share responsibilities, and voice concerns is vital. These gatherings offer a democratic platform for every family member to be heard and valued, allowing for the preemptive resolution of conflicts and the clarification of expectations. Open dialogue nurtures a positive living environment where each person’s opinion is respected, paving the way for collective decision-making and problem-solving.

Upholding Individual Spaces and Privacy

Recognizing the need for personal space and privacy is critical in maintaining the delicate balance of communal living. Ensuring each family member has their own haven for solitude and reflection is a mark of respect and understanding. Acknowledging individual needs helps sustain a peaceful atmosphere within the home, where everyone feels secure, respected, and part of a supportive family unit.

Celebrating and Integrating Generational Traditions

The rich tapestry of a family’s heritage is best preserved and celebrated through the integration of generational traditions. These rituals, whether daily, weekly, or annually, become the heartbeat of the household, fostering a deep sense of belonging and unity. By embracing and participating in each other’s customs, family members of all ages can experience joy and learn from shared cultural practices. Such celebrations are essential for bonding and creating memories that last a lifetime.

Protect with a Home Warranty

Investing in a home warranty for your multigenerational home is a wise decision to safeguard against costly repairs to your appliances or home systems. A home warranty provides peace of mind, ensuring that unexpected breakdowns won’t disrupt your household or strain your finances. Some home warranty policies will also cover roof leaks, electronics, septic pump, and pool repairs, offering comprehensive protection for your entire home. Understanding what home warranties cover can help you choose the best plan to meet the diverse needs of your family, ensuring everyone’s comfort and convenience are maintained.

Accommodating Diverse Daily Routines

The rhythm of daily life in a multigenerational household can vary widely across generations. Recognizing and respecting these differences in routines and preferences is essential for harmony. Flexibility and compromise are key to accommodating everyone’s lifestyle, from adjusting meal times to respecting sleep schedules. This adaptability ensures the household functions smoothly, with minimal disruptions and conflicts.

Establishing Boundaries for Respectful Coexistence

Setting clear boundaries is fundamental to fostering a respectful and considerate living environment. Simple practices, such as knocking before entering someone’s room or asking permission to use belongings, cultivate a culture of respect. These guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and encourage a supportive atmosphere where everyone feels valued and protected. The cornerstone of a thriving multigenerational household lies in the unwavering commitment to open communication, respect for individual differences, and a collective effort to understand and support one another. By celebrating the diversity within the family and embracing shared experiences, multigenerational living can become a source of strength, joy, and enduring bonds. This lifestyle offers unparalleled opportunities for learning from one another, growing together, and creating a legacy of cherished memories for generations to come.

For coaching services to help you reach your goals in your career and with your family, visit Family Connections Coaching today!

Innovative Mental Health Strategies: From Humor to Art

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Thank you Dean Burgess of Excitepreneur for another article!

If you’re wanting to start your own business, please check out his site for info, encouragement, tips, and resources to get things rolling. I hope you enjoy his contribution to Family Connections Coaching on various ways to improve your mental health!

In warmth,

Cecil

By Dean Burgess

Mental well-being is about more than eliminating distress — it’s an excellent way for you to embrace joy, resilience, and a deeper connection with those around you. When you get up in the morning, you’ll have a new opportunity to improve your well-being through different creative approaches that resonate with your life. In this article shared by Family Connections Coaching, you'll learn how to bring simple yet powerful practices into your routine that can uplift your overall mental health and wellness.

Embrace the Power of Laughter

Laughter is an excellent way for you to relieve stress, pain, and conflict. In fact, nothing works faster to boost your feelings than a good laugh. Whether it's through watching funny videos on YouTube, reading light-hearted stories on Reddit, or enjoying the spontaneity of conversations with your friends and loved ones, you need to make time in your life for laughter. It not only soothes tension but also connects you to others, which enhances your emotional health.

Explore the Calm of Guided Meditation

For ages, meditation has helped people foster deep relaxation and achieve mental clarity. Signing up for guided meditation sessions, whether it’s through a website or an in-person professional, can greatly help you ground your thoughts and ease the anxiety you’re experiencing regularly. Meditation can also enhance your awareness and help you create a mental environment that’s conducive to inner peace and creative thinking.

Find Ways to Relieve Stress

Exploring alternative ways to relieve stress can lead to discovering effective and natural solutions. One such option is using THCA, a non-psychoactive cannabinoid found in raw cannabis that has shown potential for stress relief. Researching options for THCA can provide insight into various forms of consumption, such as tinctures, capsules, or raw juicing.

Refresh Your Image

Updating your wardrobe is a surprisingly effective way to boost your self-esteem and enhance your self-image. When you wear clothes that make you feel good, it transforms your mood and attitude. You'll find yourself standing a little taller, smiling more, and engaging with others more confidently. This simple change can significantly improve how you see yourself and how others perceive you, leading to a healthier, more positive mindset.

Develop Coping Skills through Talk Therapy

Talk therapy is a crucial step in understanding and managing your emotions, especially when you're navigating life's challenges. A therapist can help you explore new perspectives and develop coping mechanisms that aren't just about surviving, but thriving. They'll provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you to process your thoughts and feelings, and offer guidance and support along the way.

Maintain a Cardio Routine

Consistent cardio is key for both your physical health and mental well-being. Activities like running, cycling, or swimming boost the production of endorphins, your brain's feel-good neurotransmitters. When you get your heart pumping and your blood flowing, you're not just burning calories and building endurance — you're also giving your mood a natural lift. Not only does this type of exercise help manage weight and strengthen your heart, but it also alleviates symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Incorporating these varied and creative strategies into your daily life not only enhances your mental well-being but also enriches your overall life experience. Each step, whether small or significant, contributes to a more joyful and fulfilling life journey. Embrace these practices with an open heart and mind, and watch your world transform, one joyful moment at a time.

For life coaching to improve your relationship with your whole family, visit Family Connections Coaching today!

Exercise May Be the Ticket to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur

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Thank you Dean Burgess of Excitepreneur for this article!

If you’re wanting to start your own business, please check out his site for info, encouragement, tips, and resources to get things rolling. I hope you enjoy his contribution to Family Connections Coaching on the benefits of exercise, especially for those on the journey of entrepreneurship.

In warmth,

Cecil

Exercise May Be the Ticket to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur

by Dean Burgess

If you’re an entrepreneur, you know that there are so many demands on your time. You have to stay on top of business legalities, manage staff, take care of clients, deal with finances and marketing, and much more. But there is one activity that you should make sure is part of your routine: exercise. Not only does it provide crucial physical benefits, but it also has a positive impact on your business. Courtesy of Family Connections Coaching, here’s why exercise is essential in achieving your entrepreneurship goals.

Makes you healthier in more ways than one

Entrepreneurs must juggle so many responsibilities all at once that stress levels are often high. However, regular physical activity can act as a stress reliever since it helps reduce the production of cortisol, the stress hormone. It also boosts immunity since exercising regularly strengthens muscles and bones while improving blood circulation — all of which contribute to improved overall health.

Gives you more energy

When you exercise consistently, you naturally increase your energy levels throughout the day without having to rely on coffee or energy drinks. This means that you can stay focused for longer periods without losing steam halfway through the day — an invaluable skill for entrepreneurs who often have to multitask and wear many hats at once. Better still, if you’re up against tight deadlines or have a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time, having extra energy reserves can help push you over the finish line.

Get inspired to start a business today

Exercise can provide an incredible boost of mental and physical energy that is essential for entrepreneurs. Studies show that regular exercise can increase productivity, help manage stress, and increase creativity over time. Exercise is also an opportunity to take a break from the hustle of daily life, giving you some much-needed me-time.

For innovators looking to start businesses, this break can be especially useful in helping to organize the big picture and make sure all the pieces are in place. There are, after all, many moving parts in a business. This break can be an opportunity to look into ways of improving your business operations. Key to this is setting up your business’s structure, such as a limited liability company, through ZenBusiness, who can walk you through the process easily and efficiently.

Offers a much-needed confidence boost

Staying physically active will help build your confidence and self-esteem. Exercise releases endorphins that deliver a natural feeling of happiness and improve your overall mood. When you feel good about yourself, you’ll be better equipped to tackle any obstacles that come your way in the business world. And when you hit snags or experience failure, having strong self-esteem will help you get back up again and continue striving toward success.

Whether you’re an experienced athlete or a beginner at working out, exercise is an important part of any entrepreneur’s life. Beyond the physical benefits, such as increased energy levels and reduced stress levels, it also boosts confidence, which is essential for navigating the business world. So don't forget to fit some form of physical activity into your daily schedule — it could spell the difference between success and failure.

Family Connections Coaching partners with those who want to elevate their commitment to developing themselves, to lead with wisdom and love, at home and work. We do this by courageously engaging hidden things that diminish our joy, health, and relationships. Visit our website to learn more!

Rideshare Safety from ConsumerNotice.org

[Thank you Daniela Rodriquez of ConsumerNotice.org for reaching out to me and sharing this valuable information to help us all be safer when using rideshare services. ]

The rise of rideshare services like Uber and Lyft has undeniably transformed the way we travel,

offering convenience at the tap of a button. However, a dark shadow looms over the industry as

reports of assaults during rides continue to surface, raising serious concerns about passenger

safety. Unfortunately, it appears that both Uber and Lyft have fallen short in providing adequate

protection, with women being particularly vulnerable to the shortcomings of these platforms.

Rideshare assaults, unfortunately, are not isolated incidents. The close interaction between

drivers and passengers in a confined space can create vulnerable situations. Women, in

particular, may feel uneasy about sharing a ride with a stranger. It's crucial to acknowledge the

genuine concerns and anxieties that many passengers, especially women, face when utilizing

these services.

One of the fundamental issues contributing to the safety concerns is the effectiveness of

background checks. Both Uber and Lyft claim to conduct thorough background screenings for

their drivers, but instances of assaults reveal that these checks may not be foolproof. Criminal

backgrounds, particularly those involving violent offenses, seem to slip through the cracks,

leaving passengers at risk.

The lack of stringent screening measures has been a glaring gap in the safety net, exposing

riders, especially women, to potential danger. The close proximity between drivers and

passengers in a rideshare setting demands a higher level of scrutiny to ensure the well-being of

all riders. While background checks are a step in the right direction, the apparent shortcomings

in their execution demand immediate attention and improvement.

Moreover, the accountability of rideshare companies when it comes to addressing safety

concerns has been questionable. Women, in particular, have voiced their dissatisfaction with the

response mechanisms in place after incidents of harassment or assault. The reporting process

can be complex and may not always result in swift action.

This lack of responsiveness leaves passengers feeling vulnerable and unprotected, fostering an

environment where perpetrators may act with impunity.

To address these concerns, there are several preventive measures that riders can adopt. First

and foremost, it is essential to verify the identity of your driver. Both Uber and Lyft provide

important details about the driver and the vehicle, including their name, photo, and license plate

number, in the app before the ride begins. Before entering the vehicle, ensure that the

information matches and be cautious of any discrepancies.

Maintaining communication is another key aspect of ensuring safety during rideshares. Share

your trip details with a trusted friend or family member. Both Uber and Lyft offer features that

allow users to share their real-time location with selected contacts. Regularly check in with your

contacts during the ride to keep them informed about your journey progress.

In addition, opting for rideshare features designed to enhance safety can provide an extra layer

of protection. For example, Uber's "Ride Check" feature uses GPS and other sensors in the

driver's phone to detect unexpected stops or deviations from the route. If such an event occurs,

both the rider and driver receive a notification, allowing them to address any potential issues

promptly. For female passengers, it's important to trust your instincts. If a situation feels

uncomfortable or unsafe, don't hesitate to speak up.

In conclusion, while rideshare assaults are a concerning issue, there are steps that passengers,

especially women, can take to protect themselves. Verifying the identity of your driver, sharing

trip details with trusted contacts, and using safety features provided by the rideshare apps are

critical measures. Trusting your instincts and reporting any safety concerns promptly contribute

to a safer rideshare experience.

As the rideshare industry continues to evolve, it is essential for both companies and users to

prioritize safety and work collaboratively to create an environment where everyone feels secure

during their journeys. By staying vigilant and taking proactive measures, we can collectively

contribute to a safer rideshare experience for all.

https://www.consumernotice.org/personal-injury/rideshare-assaults/

https://www.consumernotice.org/legal/rideshare-lawsuits/

Sleep: A Huge Life-Essential

In this post, I have the pleasure of hosting Dean Burgess of Excitepreneur.net. He’s got a great site unpacking entrepreneurship and providing motivation and equipping for that journey. Check it out!

Here, Dean explains why sleep makes you younger, and how you and your family can get better-quality sleep. For some this may be easier than others. In my family, half of us find it a bit more difficult to get good “z’s”. So I know it’s not uncommon to struggle with this fundamental need. I hope you’ll find this article encouraging and helpful to get the rest you need for peace and wholeness.

Image via Unsplash

Quality Sleep: The Secret to Looking and Feeling Younger

People commonly spend thousands on anti-aging creams, botox treatments, and fancy Mediterranean diets trying to look and feel young. You don’t have to spend money to look young, though. There is an incredibly potent youth treatment you – and your whole family – can access for free – high-quality sleep! Just consistently sleeping better can (and will) take years off of you. 

How sleep makes you look and feel younger 

Quality sleep has proven anti-aging benefits. According to Psychology Today, good sleep is a natural full spa treatment that’s a facial, a deep conditioning treatment, and a mani-pedi all rolled into one. Sleep slows down arterial aging, reduces stress, smoothes out wrinkles and fine lines, and promotes cellular growth and repair.

Moreover, your body releases HGH nightly during slow-wave sleep. HGH is a natural botox that makes your skin, hair, and nails shine. Having more HGH makes you look younger. Getting more (and better) sleep is key to having more HGH in your body. 

Below are some tips on how your family can get better quality sleep: 

Optimizing your bedroom environment for sleep 

Your bedroom environment has a massive impact on your sleep quality – tweaking it is key to sleeping better. Humans sleep best in dark, cool, and quiet places. To make your bedroom darker, get solid curtains to keep street lights out. Turn the temperature down for bedtime (if applicable) or invest in an aircon to make it cooler. Also, having a window open can bring in fresh air and ventilate your room. Finally, consider getting earplugs or a white noise machine to prevent sound disruptions.

Upgrading your bedding 

Your bedding is just as important as your bedroom environment. Consider adding a new duvet, sheets, and throw pillows for more comfort. You should prioritize cotton bedding – it’s breathable, comfortable, and durable. You can get these with unique patterns crafted by independent artists. If you order designs that are printed on-demand, your design will always be in stock and you can customize it to your tastes. Check this out to learn more.   

Have a sleep routine to prepare for bed

You can’t instantly switch from active to relaxed and ready for bed – you need to ease yourself into it. Having a sleep routine can help you wind down in an efficient, reliable way. Some suggestions for a sleep routine are having a warm shower, putting your devices away, reading, listening to music, meditating, writing in your journal, and making your bed. 

Have strict rules if you’re working from home 

People who work from home frequently, full-time or part-time, have blurred professional and personal lives, as Work Mind can confirm. They find it hard to disengage from work, get an overdose of screen time, and generally keep to odd hours. Needless to say, this causes them many sleep-related issues. If you’re one such at-home remote worker, make sure you keep to a strict routine. Put your screen away before bedtime, don’t work in your bedroom, and avoid caffeine later in the day.

Conclusion

Getting good sleep consistently will keep you (and your family) looking and feeling young. It’s natural, sustainable, and doesn’t cost thousands of dollars. The other benefits include a better mood, feeling good in your body, and having plenty of energy to face the day. 

Family Connections Coaching offers life coaching based on radical wholeness for the entire family. Learn to meet your life goals, raise an amazing family, create a happier family culture, and be a better parent. 

Can you identify financial abuse and do you know what to do about it?

Can you believe summer is over, schools have started, and we’re already past Labor Day! We’ll be into the holidays before we know it. Before all the busyness ramps up, I’d like to draw attention to something serious and unfortunately common: financial abuse. This is something we should all be more aware of and take steps to prevent. And if it is currently happening to someone we know, even ourselves, we need to bring light to the situation and take action to stop it.

Elvira Camargo of Annuity.org reached out to me and provided me with some great resources to share on the topic of financial abuse. Learn about warning signs, specific situations, and most importantly getting away from this harmful behavior and recovering from it.

Here is Elvira’s introduction with links to articles on the Annuity.org site:

“In our pursuit to empower and support those who are vulnerable, we must shed light on an often-overlooked issue: financial abuse. 

Financial abuse affects countless women and elderly, causing distress and uncertainty about their financial future. These comprehensive guides offer essential information on recognizing the warning signs, preventive measures, and available resources to break free from this cycle of exploitation.
Remember, knowledge is power. We encourage you to explore these resources and take charge of your financial well-being. Let's build a stronger, more financially secure future for all women.” 

APA Simmons, C. (2023, June 30). Financial Abuse. Annuity.org. Retrieved August 8, 2023, from https://www.annuity.org/financial-literacy/financial-abuse/

I hope you find the information helpful and will forward to others who may need help navigating these tragic situations.

For this post, I’ve got a great article from a guest blogger, Adam Cook of Addictionhub.org. Adam shares about the challenges of addiction, adultery, and abuse and ways to overcome them. There are links to deepen your understanding as well as professional resources. I hope you find it helpful and encouraging.

Saving a Marriage after Adultery, Abuse or Addiction

by Adam Cook

Photo via Pixabay

Relationships aren’t perfect. Even the happiest of couples can have rough patches. Some negative actions or behaviors in a marriage are minor. Others are serious issues, such as a spouse who spends more time at work than with family. However, three issues are exceptionally dangerous to a marriage and the spouses involved: adultery, abuse, and addiction. Read on for some insight from Family Connections Coaching.

Addiction and Finding a Rehab Center

Addiction creates severe damage to a marriage and to a family. All addictions – alcohol, heroin, sexual, shopping, even video game addiction – can harm relationships. Drug and alcohol addictions are touted for not only destroying the life of the addict, but the lives of his or her loved ones as well. An addict must seek serious, long-term treatment; otherwise, the marriage is likely to end.

Before a couple can begin to work on their marriage, addiction therapy should be prioritized and treated before any work is done in the marriage. Finding sobriety is critical before trying to rebuild a relationship. This is where a qualified rehab center comes in. When looking for a rehab center in or near San Francisco, check to see what sort of treatment is offered, such as outpatient treatment, inpatient programs, and detox. Choosing the right facility involves knowing whether it’s accredited, what certifications it has, and be sure it has evidence-based treatment that is proven by positive client reviews.

Family and friends can play critical roles in encouraging addicts to enter and stay in treatment. Attending family therapy can also be important for both the addict and his or her loved ones. When a family member or significant other is involved in an addict’s treatment program, the benefits of treatment are strengthened. There are many resources for helping a loved one find treatment.

If the addicted partner created mistrust and trauma by putting a strain on the family’s finances, working with a specialist to create a financial plan is also an important step in rebuilding a couple’s relationship. While seeking long-term treatment can help address the psychological reasons for the addicted partner’s irresponsible spending, it is critical that both partners work together to get back on solid financial ground if there is going to be a possibility of reconciliation. 

Adultery

Sadly, 15-20% of marriages have a partner who’s cheated. And it’s hardly ever a one-time affair; people who have cheated once are more likely to cheat again. Finding out that your spouse committed adultery can be gut-wrenchingly painful and traumatizing. While marriages can survive infidelity, people sometimes find it impossible to stay in their marriage after the discovery.

To increase your chances of saving the marriage, you must unearth what led to the affair. In order for a marriage to fully heal after an affair, the circumstances that led to the affair must be resolved. Typically, the partner who strays reports doing so for reasons such as not having his or her needs met in the marriage (mentally, emotionally, or intimately), feeling unheard by the other partner in pleas for change, seeking validation for low self-esteem, and more.

Abuse

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “Nearly three in 10 women and one in 10 men in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner (or former partner) and reported at least one impact related to experiencing these or other forms of violence behavior in the relationship (e.g. feeling fearful, concern for safety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), need for health care, injury, crisis support, need for housing services, need for victim advocacy series, need for legal services, missed work or school).”

Abuse includes, but is not limited to, purposeful humiliation, hypercriticism, forced isolation from friends and family, violent threats, pushing, slapping, and grabbing. Unfortunately, research shows that ending cycles and habits of verbal and emotional abuse is improbable. Therapy and counseling are highly unlikely to help. Essentially, abuse is one circumstance where the marriage is likely to be unsalvageable.

If you’re currently in an abusive relationship, visit your local domestic violence center for free counseling about how to deal with and end it. For more immediate assistance, especially if your life is being threatened, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You can also visit their website for more information or for live chat services.

Go to Counseling Together

It’s also essential that couples seek marriage counseling to work through their issues. Family Connections Coaching offers marriage and family counseling and can facilitate improved communication so that both parties have the chance to say their peace and feel heard. 

If you’re on a tight budget, there are affordable options, and seniors should know that Medicare Part B covers 80 percent of marriage counseling costs. Eating nutritiously and exercise can also go a long way in improving the mental health of couples as they seek to save their marriage. 

Finding Your Space

Rebuilding a marriage is hard work, and it requires a sincere and committed effort on both sides. However, sometimes the best approach is to have a trial separation. This, of course, isn’t an option for everyone, particularly if finances are tight. But if you absolutely need space from your partner, it can be wise to find an alternate living arrangement for a little while. In doing so, you both have the option to regroup. Perhaps you can stay with family or friends for a short while, or you can look for short-term rentals in the area.  

Regardless of whether you and your spouse are dealing with one of the three A’s or another issue, if you’re experiencing marital turmoil, seek the help of a marriage counselor. Remember that you don’t have to (nor should you) stay in a marriage if your well-being is in jeopardy. Reach out to a family member, friend, or professional if you need help, and for severe crises, such as abuse or addiction, seek the appropriate help at a rehab center as quickly as possible.

For 2023, Balance Pain and Pleasure

As 2022 comes to an end and 2023 is about to begin, how is your pain and pleasure balance?

As nations develop and societies continue to evolve, this balance [for all people] will become more and more critical. And because we all vary in so many ways, personality, body composition, mental health, economic status, and even spirituality, this balance is unique for each of us.

But in the midst of this complexity, there is one common need that is universal: giving attention to the life we’ve received and immersing ourselves into the process of radical, holistic change.

When the Bible is understood accurately, this is its message. When viewed with a deeper, more expansive perspective, the Biblical narrative (Old and New Testament) reveals the power of the universe moving people away from absolutist, extractive empires towards pluralistic, inclusive governing which raises the quality of life for more and more people. There are many things wrong with the world but not as much as there were in the past when nations were ruled by small groups of elites with little to no accountability. This polarity with each of its outcomes exists at every institutional level: families, organizations, societies, and nations.

Improvements in quality of life has come through technological innovations which were made possible through transformations of political and economic institutions. When life gets better, whether for an individual or a group, it’s because whoever or whatever was in charge made space for it to happen through incentives, protected rights, resources, and most importantly liberty. All protected by a universal rule of law and not the whim and discretions of those in charge.

This kind of cultivation doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when people immerse themselves into the life they’ve been given, giving attention to the realities of their condition (inside and out), choose life (ie. love and not fear) and experience the wholeness of humility and wisdom.

In the person of Jesus the Christ, God immersed Himself into the human experience. In this immersion, He turned His attention to the most fundamental needs for life, love and freedom: healing and deliverance. In the Gospel record (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), we see Jesus sharing and exchanging intimate thoughts and feelings about significant essentials with His disciples and others. This was communion.

His death and resurrection pointed to the power of grief integration that results in renewal. He instructed His followers to abide in this process through communion; not simply observing a ritual but regular daily practice of interior growth.

As the world becomes a place of greater wealth and freedom, there is the danger of overindulgence and covert addictions that continue to enslave rich and poor alike. If we want to thrive in our age of indulgence, we need power to balance pain and pleasure.

Anna Lembke (Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic) shares 10 lessons about this balance.

1. Relentless pursuit of pleasure and pain avoidance results in more pain.

2. Recovery begins with abstinence.

3. Abstinence resets the brain pathway towards pleasure. It creates space for finding pleasures in simpler things.

4. Self binding creates cognitive and physical space between desire and consumption; a modern necessity in the age of indulgence and hyper consumption.

5. Medication can help reset homeostasis but keep in mind what is lost through medicating our pain: understanding and reconciliation of it.

6. Pressing on the pain side, resets our balance to the side for pleasure.

7. Be aware of getting addicted to pain; sadism/ masochism is not healthy.

8. Radical honesty, fosters awareness, intimacy, and plenty mindset.

9. Pro social shame affirms our belonging to the human tribe.

10. Instead of running from the world, we can find salvation by immersing ourselves into it.

Dr. Lembke’s insights about dealing with pain and pleasure contribute to grief integration and renewal; she articulates the problem, provides essentials to reset our balance and sheds light on the path to healthier mindset, relationships, and fundamental life philosophy.

We all have propensities toward addiction. And under chronic, intense stress, we become addicted through naive ways of dealing with pain through numbing, distracting activities. If our addiction isn’t some substance, it may be work or some activity that keeps our attention away from the pains of life we’ve been given, preventing us from reconciling its truth to cultivate integration. Being naive inhibits deeper understanding into reality, keeping us in the shallow end and thus becoming more and more irrelevant to the dynamics of life, and we end up with more morbidities, relational dysfunction, and a fear based life ie. a house of cards.

As 2023 rolls in, evaluate your pain and pleasure balance. How does your life promote health and integration of reality/ truth (highs and lows; good, bad and ugly; darkness and light)? A healthy balance fosters wholeness: head, heart and body working harmoniously together. Imbalance results in neglect of one or more or your triune members, the most crucial being your emotional core/ inner child.

Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt.18:3) Entering this kingdom is not the afterlife. It’s experiencing life governed by liberating power like that of the sky: spacious, free, life-giving.

This is where the journey to balance begins: how your emotional core/ inner child experiences love. This is true religion that authentically reconnects us with God. Without this, our love will perpetually lack integrity and the power of wholeness. But with it, we become the salt of the earth, the light of the world because we will live with power to balance the pains and pleasures of a world filled with both.

What does longevity look like?

I started this series on longevity talking about muscle centric health. I then proceeded to talk about what it takes which focused on consuming quality protein for building of muscles. For my third post, I’m going to discuss what it looks like at various levels of the human experience.

On a personal level, positive longevity is cognitive, emotional, and physical health supporting our everyday activities and most important relationships well into our 50’s and beyond. We can do daily tasks with ease and are also able to tackle challenges effectively. Personal growth enriches, strengthens and deepens our connection with loved ones.

At a family level, it’s growing in a healthy union and raising children who successfully individuate to lead their own lives, raise their own families and are able to perpetuate health and wholeness into future generations.

For organizations, it’s healthy, diverse leadership dynamically planning, executing, and managing operations to benefit stakeholders and the people they impact. And more importantly, able to effectively and positively implement succession that reflects wisdom for ongoing improvement and meaningful benefits for the company and its stakeholders.

But what about on larger scales ie. a nation?

According to Daron Acemoglu and James Robinson in their book Why Nations Fail, positive longevity depends on how societal elites structure and maintain political and economic institutions which determine whether countries are rich or poor, healthy or sick, just or corrupt.

It boils down to how leaders wield their power.

Do they extract from the masses to benefit the few forming a vicious circle of societal impoverishment and perpetual underdevelopment, or create broader coalitions to include greater representation of diverse groups that grow and perpetuate a virtuous circle of societal development.

Throughout history, we see rulers come and go but the institutions they create either promote and perpetuate growth, prosperity and equality or become absolutist regimes that keep many people in poverty, sickness and early mortality. Of course there are various degrees of each polarity at work but those are very real patterns of human governance that have always existed and continue today.

Though there are many factors contributing to each circle (vicious and virtuous), a key point I want to highlight is the response to creative destruction. When a system seems to be running fine (because it benefits those who set it up), people with authority and power tend to dismiss, reject or even set out to destroy changes that threaten their economic and political realities. The loss of control of how much money is made and ability to enact laws to regulate how business is done has been a consistent fear of those in charge.

This is a primary reason why nations succeed or fail. Elites (top level leaders who make financial and organizational decisions) in control of institutions are culprits or champions of the long term outcomes which benefit or harm the masses. They shape realities of many people. When they are closed off to changes that disrupt their operations, especially from those who are powerless, they are creating/ perpetuating vicious circles of operations which shut down creativity to foster newness of how life can be and how things can be done.

So what does longevity look like?

Healthy use of power and authority, AT EVERY LEVEL: personal, family, organizational, and societal/ national. This brings us back to muscles, the agents of power delivery. There is an integrity here about what truly matters for longevity AT EVERY LEVEL.

HEALTHY EXERCISE OF POWER IS ABOUT…

Openness to disruptions by change.

Positive acceptance and adaptation to change.

Redemption of mistakes and failures that contribute to new ways of living, loving and doing.

Integration of paradoxical ideas, perceptions, and methods that promote radical newness with benefits for all (self included).

Everyone from elites to the poor positively contributing to the collective subconscious of the human race through COURAGEOUS ownership and healing of their own grief, being open to creative disruption/ destruction to become people who can humbly engage conflict and paradox to move all of us towards greater peace, joy and love with significant equity, diversity, and inclusion.

I guess this is my grown up Christmas list.

May your Christmas point you to the Star of Longevity found even in the story of the Nativity. Christmas brings many blessings but don’t be distracted from the central message about our need to overthrow powers that drive vicious circles. The Baby born in a manger is representative of creative destruction that births newness and revelation of evolving realities transforming ones fabricated by those with fear based power.

Christmas is ultimately about the generation of virtuous circles that heal nations through compassion, justice and freedom.