We all have one but when was the last time you evaluated it?
For a happy new year, how about contemplating its effects on you and your family? Your organization?
If it's work, your relationships are likely compromised as you may not be as present as others need you to be. You might think work is supposed to be central at work; just makes sense, right? Healthy families, businesses and organizations know it's always about people. Period.
If it's play, your responsibilities might be neglected. Joyful play is essential but if it inhibits your contributions to healthy functioning of your home or organization, it will diminish not only your productivity, but also your sense of self-worth.
If it's negativity, you're probably not very good company. Your emotional health has been compromised, decreasing your energy, leading to less and less movement. Less movement is less life as movement is a primary indicator of something being alive.
However, if it it's growth, you're aligned with the universe and ready to learn, change, and develop to discover and experience success, freedom and fulfillment of meaning and purpose.
2 primary parameters for effective functioning in our universe are time and life. Managers (supervisors and parents) in general have long neglected these and countless people have suffered from the lack of wisdom and understanding into what happens to life as time passes, whether it's the life of an individual or the organization.
Check out this article from the May-June 1998 issue of Harvard Business Review. Here's the conclusion:
"Clearly, there is still much to learn about processes of development in organizations. The phases outlined here are merely five in number and are still only approximations. Researchers are just beginning to study the specific developmental problems of structure, control, rewards, and management style in different industries and in a variety of cultures.
One should not, however, wait for conclusive evidence before educating managers to think and act from a developmental perspective (bold italics are mine). The critical dimension of time has been missing for too long from our management theories and practices. The intriguing paradox is that by learning more about history, we may do a better job in the future."
Just think about the struggle we parents have with our kids as they become teenagers. The first decade is a joy; but by age 12, our worlds are turned upside down. Conflicts and relational break down occur from holding onto what used to work, what other parents are doing, or what we've 'know' is best. Holding onto ineffective solutions is indicative of a non-growth center.
What's missing? A center that generates and fosters thinking and acting from a developmental perspective with data and knowledge about the various stages of human maturation; not only childhood and adolescent stages but also the seasoned ones ie. intimacy, generativity, and integrity. Lacking intimate knowledge of our kids due to shallow or weak relationships will compound this problem.
I'm currently working on a book titled, A Growth Centered Family. Here's an excerpt:
"A growth centered family is a unit of people living in accordance with the most important, unchanging principles of the universe.
There is order in this world and thanks to the many areas of knowledge, we’re learning more about it now than ever. For us humans, there are 2 mega-categories in which we would do well to develop a high level of understanding and application, especially when it comes to raising a family; they are time and life. More specifically it’s what life does as time passes. How we perceive and deal with life and its changes (ours and others) is pretty much at the root of what determines our movements, conditions, resiliencies and destinations. Our quality of life, life direction, success and fulfillment can be traced to how we view life and our understanding into its, purposes, evolutions and stages from beginning to end. When we align with the created order, centering on what matters most, we can continue to grow in vitality, freedom, grace, and gratitude."
This is the core message of Family Connections Coaching. I will go more into what, why and how in upcoming issues of this newsletter as well as in my book. Hope you'll find the content encouraging and helpful.
Grandest and warmest wishes to you and yours for 2017 and beyond! Book some time and let's chat about what you want to grow and develop in yourself, your family, your organization.
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“I’ve been meeting with Cecil regularly for over a year and have benefited greatly from his coaching help. I came to him unmotivated, unemployed, unfocused, and unsure of what to expect…During the meetings, Cecil guides me through a great deal of life reflection…giving me a better understanding of my identity and value in God – and how that impacts the decisions and outcomes of my life.
