Joining the Gig Economy?

In this post, I have the pleasure of hosting Lucy Reed, owner, blogger and developer of Gigmine.co. She shares some great tips to grow how you make money with the opportunities technology has created. Enjoy!

Getting Started In The Gig Economy

Photo credit by Pixabay

You may have heard the term “gig economy” and wondered what it meant, or maybe you’ve wondered if it’s for you. The gig economy, simply put, is made up of workers who predominantly make a living from short-term or freelance work. 

This has opened up opportunities for many people to make a living on their own terms. Some gig workers even open their own businesses. In fact, according to CNN, gig workers now make up about one-third of the workforce. If you’re wondering if you can be successful in this economy, these tips are for you.

Before You Get Started

While you may have no trouble finding gigs and clients, there are a couple of things you should know before you start.

• Freelance work has no benefits. That means you’re on your own with health insurance and retirement plans. That also means no unemployment benefits when you can’t find work.

• It’s best to build a nest egg before you quit your current job. Work your freelance projects on the side until you build up a clientele or regular gigs.

Inc. offers some helpful tips for newcomers on how to thrive in a gig economy.

Finding Gig Work

Gig work gives you the freedom to do what you like or try new things. For example, you can start freelancing with your existing skill set. Start by doing something you already know how to do well, anything from graphic design to writing resumes to gardening. Brainstorm how you can offer your chosen project as a service. 

If you are going this route, you’ll want to find a way to showcase your work. You can use an online portfolio service or create your own website. Post writing samples or photographs of anything you create. Sell your work on Etsy, or use Upwork or Freelancer to find freelance projects. You can also try Fiverr to start selling your services.

In addition, there are established on-demand service companies, like Uber, that need gig workers. There are lots of options available - just check out this list of the 10 best sites to find gig jobs at The Balance, or this article at US News, which lists more ways to find work in the gig economy.

Running Your Business From Home

Organizing your income, expenditures, and client base is important when you're running your business out of your home. Harvard Business Review advises gig workers design four main “liberating connections:” place, routines, purpose, and people. These connections are meant to free you to be creative while making sure you get income-generating work done.

That starts with finding an at-home workspace that is secure and private enough for you to complete any work you need, whether your services are mostly done by computer or your computer is just for business accounting. A spare room is your best option for an office, but if you don’t have one, you’ll need to find a room where you can have privacy while you work.

Your space needs to be both organized and encouraging. While many feel more creative in a mess, it’s best to keep important corporate and tax documents, phone records, client contracts, and any other critical paperwork safe, sound, and easy to locate. Take stock of the technology you need (computer or laptop, printer, fax machine, etc.) and purchase reliable brands while installing a stable internet connection. You may want to invest in warranties on your electronics as well. 

However, you don’t have to recreate a corporate atmosphere! Design your workspace to be inspirational and encouraging. Framed prints, motivational artwork, an unconventional desk, and even unique lighting can all contribute to a place you want to work, even if you’re just crunching numbers for the taxman. And don’t forget a comfortable chair that won’t hurt your back!

The gig economy can provide the opportunity and freedom you are seeking if you need work or are tired of the corporate life. Plan well and you can succeed with your own business.

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Thanks so much Lucy! Joining the gig economy is an exciting expression of being growth centered, the pathway to true success.

Christ Redefines Love

"...the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives." Robbi David Wolpe

Common contemporary definitions lack depth.

We need greater understanding into this most essential, profound, and powerful thing called love.

A couple months back, I talked about Christ not being Jesus' last name but His title. He is the anointed One who unites humans with God and even all creation through His pattern of order, disorder and reorder. When we recognize and embrace this, we grow in His Spirit and the integrity of the universe.

Today I want to get more into what this means for us practically: Christ redefines love and experiencing Him changes us to grow how we love. Whole hearted belief purifies our definition of love, decreasing our confining definitions and unhealthy practices. To change our practice of love, we need to redefine love. Our understanding of love is a radical source of happiness and healing. This redefinition is an essential part of growing up to fulfill our potential to positively impact our family, work and even the world.

We want love that grows us and those around us. We all recognize positive flow when we experience it just like we know resistance and coldness when we encounter it. When our presence creates safety for mistakes and patience for substantial change, we align with the ever expanding universe. When we give up our small minded uniformity, we let go of desires for separation, superiority and control—all the things that try to stand in the way of healthy progress. Small mindedness is driven by desire for 'what's best' but at its root, it's commonly a fear of uncertainty and lack of deeper self knowledge and management. Thus discernment is needed, much more than enforcement; we need to awaken to humility that truly fosters unity and diversity. Universities were founded with this ideal in mind but floundered when its leaders lost sight of the power and vitality of the soul, succumbing to hidden, dis defaults and gaps in knowledge and understanding of the universe’s integration.

What happens when we don't let go of our smallness and receive life changing love?

Our world is static—confining us to do what ‘everyone’ else is doing, competing for ‘limiting resources’. Our mindset becomes one of scarcity. With this perspective, inclination to protect will override the healthy balance of faithful living. Abraham, the father of the Jewish nation, is also known as the father of faith. Why? God called him to leave his country and father’s household to go towards a place unnamed and unknown. This is faith and it’s contrary to a mindset of scarcity and smallness. It is also contrary to the essence of love. If our faith focuses on exclusivity and protection of what has been, we are opposing God / Love. Recall the religious leaders that persecuted Jesus. They plotted to kill Him because He was threatening the status quo and the "religion" of the Jews. Even the apostle Paul before his conversion, as he strove to cleanse his nation and religion, was confronted by Jesus asking why "...are you persecuting Me?' and "kicking against the goads?" Paul didn't know it but he was getting in God's way to bring greater love into the world, even into Paul's world.

Richard Rohr says religion is not the church we attend. It's not a set of beliefs and rituals. It's the cosmos we belong to. That's exactly what we find in the New Testament—a new cosmology. Paul, the author of 13 epistles, wrote about what God had done in Christ and how it reframes all of reality. And in this, He has redefined love.

'Religio' means to reconnect. Sincere and authentic religion reconnects us with the universe and the God who created it. Through real religion, His nature and ways become ours. We become partakers of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4)

Why don't we see more people participating in the transforming power of divine love?

Due to our family of origin and societal pressures, we are much more compromised than we realize. We may be highly functional at work and even ministry. But what happens at home with those we love reveals the real operating system we are running. Moreover, what happens at senior leadership levels significantly reveals the presence of transformative love or not. We desperately need organizational health at all levels of society: our interior, our homes, our work places.

Jesus declared He is the way, truth and life. He is the revelation and embodiment of God's modus operandi. What would it mean to run this divine OS?

Jesus' icon is the cross. Why identify with something so humiliating and excruciatingly painful? Rohr's great insight: God folds our primary problem into His primary solution to generate greater love. The universal source of our relational problems is the pain of abandonment. It is the root of societal pathologies. An unhealed victim of abandonment perpetuates harm and abuse. The trauma may be forgotten by our conscious mind but it is retained by our subconscious. This latent root of fear and dysfunctional behavior creates havoc in our health and our management, at intra and interpersonal levels. We inaccurately perceive situations as extremely negative and we freeze, fight or flee unnecessarily, often causing more and more damage.

Jesus being nailed to the cross modeled God's refrain from actions in the midst of the agony of abandonment. He cried out, "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" yet didn't curse, attack or blame anyone for His pain. He didn't withdraw and check out from what was going on but remained open to His close friend John, His mother Mary and even the others crucified with Him. He refused to numb His pain when a soldier offered Him a sponge with medicated wine. And He asked His Father to forgive His perpetrators because they didn't know what they were doing.

Miraculously, His execution became the doorway to resurrection, where renewal and restoration recreated and reframed reality for us. This is the Gospel and its power which gives us courage to follow Love's downward flow, the descent of humility to partake in the divine nature. It is a wilderness experience that God’s Spirit leads us into. This spiritual work redefines how we love by humbling ourselves to take up our cross, this is the practice of divine love.

The Gospel, God's source code, empowers us to create new possibilities for a brighter future for all. This practice is the source of forgiveness, releasing us from toxic grudges, resentments and limiting cosmologies. With God’s power, there is even healing for the devastating tragedies of toxic stress.

Running this new OS, we bear witness to the risen and always loving Christ. Our soul's need for intrinsic freedom is fulfilled. We are going to Galilee to meet Him. (see my previous post)

In contrast, when we simply react to abandonment pain, we do not forgive and we also do not experience forgiveness and thus will not love as God loves. We are not letting go of hurts and limiting beliefs and values. We're stuck in a repetitive past. Being stuck becomes a default and we live in a self created hell, a small pathetic place that fosters isolation and misery leading to regret and bitterness, aka gnashing of teeth.

The death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ is the cosmological source of divine love. This is God's gift to His creation, a very accessible pattern for freedom and largeness of soul. Without this grace, there is no future or creativity. Without its transformation, we end up believing things will never change because 'that's just the way the universe is'. This is a radical lie generated from minds and hearts set on scarcity.

A spacious soul is always ready and eager to love. It is willing to lay aside rules for a life giving relationship (Colossians 2:13-15).

This is the universal definition of love that transcends any human categorization ie. Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Agnostic, Atheist, etc. This is a love that invites all to participate regardless of profession or socioeconomic status. It's all about a choice. Hold on to the effects of past dysfunction or say yes to new possibilities of divine, universal love.

More than anything else, this is the love our families need. With this love, we thrive, our marriages last, and our children and future generations are blessed.

This is why I center on growth.

Christ, Jesus' title not last name

I've been listening to Richard Rohr's Universal Christ and am deeply resonating with his thoughts about Christ. He makes Bible based, transformative assertions about what God has done in and through Jesus, the Christ. I will be sharing them over the next few newsletters.

Today I want to talk about "Christ" not being Jesus' last name but the title that deserves our full attention. Rohr says it's a name for everything. I know, sounds new agey and heretical but stay with me and give the Biblical references mindful consideration.

In Acts 2:36, Peter said that God had made Jesus both Lord and Christ. Why the distinction? We hear plenty about Jesus being Lord but perhaps not so much about what it means that He is the Christ, the Anointed One. Christ is a translation from the Hebrew word "Mashiach", the Jews' concept of the redeemer and savior of all creation. The One who would make all things right.

John in his gospel, John 1:1 wrote that in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and was God. This Word became a human being in the person of Jesus of Nazareth.

So what happens when the Word of God becomes a member of His creation as the Anointed One? The pattern of His life reveals the essential way, truth, and life of the universe. This is the Creator's signature on all things. Incarnation, healing, death, resurrection. Order, disorder, reorder. When we live according to this pattern, we experience blessing and wholeness. When we go against it, we experience disintegration.

To receive Christ is to accept and commit to this divine pattern, to unite with God, becoming an adopted child into the beloved family of the universe.

What's with this universal application?
Check out Ephesians 1:3-10
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

Yeah, that is one seriously packed thought. Make sure you meditate and reflect on that last line, "...to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ." That is the purpose and mission of the Anointed One, becoming one with everything through the pattern lived out by Jesus: order, disorder, reorder. Human development from childhood to adolescence to adulthood reflects this. And so do many other things, as science is discovering more and more.

As you contemplate the mystery of Easter, what are your limits of who Christ is and what He's achieved through the incarnation, death and resurrection (order, disorder, reorder)? To what extent are you living according to the universal pattern? To do so is to live in the Anointed One.

It starts with believing in Love beyond what you can control. This faith leads us to die daily to our false ideas about God, life, others and even ourselves. This will be a season of disorder. As we let go of inferior beliefs, attitudes, and values, our mind and heart are reordered, raised to a new way of being, living, and loving.

Don't get stuck on the Gospel being simply a transactional event. It is much more a transformative pattern that unites us with God who is love (1 John 4:8), the very destination of all things. Resurrection is the logical end of reordering to becoming one with the ever and always present Lover of our souls.

Message me to talk about this pattern for abundant, spiritual life in Christ.

Happy belated New Year!

Recently I've listened to a couple books on seemingly different topics but I spotted a connection I'd like to share with you. Extreme Ownershipby Jocko Willink and Leif Babin and Men and Women: The Journey of Spiritual Transformation by Richard Rohr. The first was about leadership learned on the battlefield by a Navy SEALS commander. The latter by a Catholic Priest who has worked with 1000's of individuals and their radical life changes.

What could these 2 guys have in common?

Effective introspection.

Jocko states powerfully and plainly that the leader must set the example of owning everything that happens to the team and not finding fault with anyone else before fully assessing their responsibilities.

Richard wisely points out that spirituality is all about what you do with your pain: if you don't transform it, you will transmit it.

When I juxtapose these two, I see that Jocko is a very spiritual person. He openly admitted he made mistakes and they were painful. But he must've had a healthy way of processing that pain to be able to set an example of humble leadership to motivate and inspire his team to follow him towards extreme ownership.

And I see that Richard is an effective leader on the battle field of spiritual warfare. Through his insights and experiences of overcoming pride, ego, and fear, he is a freedom fighter who helps men and women let go of toxic beliefs to create a safe place to process pain—this being a radical problem for men as they become abusers of their power when they don't have this capacity. For women, it empowers them to effectively take on roles of leadership that this world needs for greater justice and compassion.

Extreme ownership is spiritual transformation. A victorious life journey is the result of taking on the responsibilities of the inner life.

What does this mean for us today?

Substantial investments in introspection. Call it self awareness, mindfulness, awakening, devotions, meditation, etc. Doesn't matter what you call it as long as you do it. It starts with being open to a cosmology of love, grace, and redemption. For those who have taken the time and effort to truly understand the Bible, this is the message of God's love in Christ: that the universe's origin, development and destination are in the hands of love, a love that transforms our minds and hearts into safe places to process pain.

It is essential to be able to bring our souls into the light of courage and compassion. Because that's where we can let go of anything and everything that causes fear and replace it with love—God's brand of love.

Regardless of what organization you're a part, a business, a nonprofit, an agency or institution, or a family, healthy leadership is a must for joy and success.

And effective leaders have an attitude of extreme ownership and humility from the courage and compassion they get from having a safe place to process fear and pain.

Those who neglect this truth, either abuse their power or end up on the receiving end of that abuse.

Real Christmas Everyday

No, not keeping the tree up all year.

Practicing emotional hygiene.

Why?

Take a moment with me to consider the Reason for the season.

Jesus Christ fulfilled this:

This was the central worship structure and system for the Israelites, freed from slavery, traveling through a desert, to enter and possess God's promised land.

God's presence abided in this place and it was the people's connection to Him, as represented by the pillar of fire, which was a pillar of cloud by day.

A team of mediators (priests) and assistants (Levites) performed the divinely given operations (book of Leviticus) to make the people acceptable to God. Primarily, this involved sacrifices of animals for the atonement of sin. The personnel and the operations all spoke of God's ultimate sacrifice of His Son to forgive us of sins.

People brought animals to this place daily and were instructed by the worship team (priests and Levites) to practice cleansing activities for their bodies, homes, and community. This was all part and parcel of the worship system God gave to free His people from internal slavery. They had been freed externally from Egypt but their hearts and minds were still in chains to fear, insecurities, and worry. This lack of real freedom kept the adult generation that came out of Egypt from entering the Promised Land, resulting in 40 years of wandering and dying in the desert.

But what does all that have to do with Christmas?

I love Christmas and all the festivities. It all seems to come earlier and earlier each year, thanks to retailers. And our wallets and energy take quite a hit.

But the mystery, power and blessings of Christmas can be experienced everyday of the year and without draining us, financially and physically.

How?

First understanding that Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of a system intended to free and cleanse us in the most important ways, emotionally and spiritually, that enable our souls to thrive.

Every article and component of the Tabernacle represented an aspect of Jesus' character and ministry. Every priest and Levite from their garb to their duties pointed to the person and work of the Christ. Every sacrificed animal's blood symbolized the life source of the God-Man, given to be an eternal testament to the power of Christ to liberate and restore our lives towards wholeness and holiness.

What does that mean?

Deliverance from anger, fear, and shame.

The very things that keep us from being who we truly are, image bearers of God. They drive us to behave like slaves rather than freed people; they are the very things that Jesus died to free us from.

Jesus didn't die and rise for us to read the Bible, pray, evangelize, go to church, serve in ministries, etc. As important as those activities are, God didn't have those as the main purpose of His Son.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."Galatians 5:1

To experience this freedom, which was God's primary intent (the Passover and Exodus of Israel), we must understand that worshipping the Christ is elevating God's Organizing Principle to the highest priority to be practiced daily.

God's Organizing Principle? The Word become flesh. John 1:1-14

Out of the 3 Gospels that record Jesus' coming into the world, John gives us the true meaning of Christmas. Matthew and Luke provide us the birth. John gives us the incarnation.

The "Word" in Greek (original language of the text) is Logos. Its definition is the reason behind a discourse of persuasion. It’s the why that justifies the knowledge and understanding of a subject. John 1:1-14 tells us that before Jesus became a man, He was the reason for the universe and all it contains.

Worshipping Jesus is about organizing myself by practicing daily thoughts and actions that foster emotional hygiene that supports integration. We all know how important physical hygiene is; it's basic to healthy living which supports all we do. But spirituality that promotes interior hygiene is much more important because that is how we connect meaningfully to ourselves and others. Christ died and rose for our hearts to be free from shame and guilt. Freed from radical perceptions, this renews us to become our true selves. Becoming who we really are, divine image bearers, is how we love like God.

Loving well is the purpose of faith. And as we grow in this love, we experience joy and peace within ourselves and with those most dear to us. In a word, integrity.

The hope of the season is truly manifest in us as our lives become organized by the emotionally spiritual hygiene we practice on a daily basis.

This is the source of creativity, innovation, and resilience to be and do as God intended for all His image bearers.

Help Your Kids Take on the World With These Weekend Activities

Guest Blogger: Charles Carpenter

Photo Credit: Pexels

The weekend’s here again, and you are struggling to find something fun for your family to do. Spending time in front of the television is not good for anyone, so why not plan some time for some exciting, educational activities to enjoy with your kids? Here are some ideas to start. 
 

Explore Your Own Backyard 

You can have educational weekend fun right in your own backyard. Our yards are filled with plants, insects, and animals for your little ones to observe. Even the ground can be interesting when you create an afternoon of geological exploration. You’ll need to pick up some basic tools, like bottles, shovels, magnets, and assorted supplies. Once you have your gear, help your child go through the yard and collect different rocks to take a closer look at. Use a magnifying glass to identify markings and figure out what kind of rocks make up the ground in your backyard. 

Learn Some Fun Science 

Another way for kids to learn about science (and have a blast doing so) is to put together experiments at home. Best of all, no expensive or special equipment is needed. You can use ingredients you likely already have in your cabinets to make your own glass of lava. Be sure to set your kids up in a space that you don’t mind getting a little messy, and use some basic safety equipment, such as goggles, gloves and aprons, to protect those small hands, eyes, and bodies. 

Work on Some Cooking Skills 

Learning to cook is more than just an important skill for kids to have. Baking and cooking require all sorts of measurements and heat that all boil down to basic home science. So, pick a yummy cookie recipe or a basic pizza dish to prepare. Grab some kid-friendly kitchen equipment to make their cooking lessons a little easier and always supervise their work. Accidents in the kitchen can happen in a moment’s notice, so go over cooking safety rules and keep essentials, including a fire extinguisher and first-aid kit, nearby. 

Visit a Local Museum or Gallery 

If you want to get out of the house and help your kids learn something new, why not plan a trip to your state’s best museum? Your children can learn about space, nature, science, history, or just about any other topic you can think of. If you can’t find a local museums, galleries can be a wonderful way to spend time on the weekend as well. Art galleries and museums help children learn by allowing them to process historical information visually. They can ask questions to take the learning even further, or you can come up with questions for them to answer as well. 

Take a Hike Through History 

Did you know that there are over 400 national parks in America? That’s more than 400 locations for you to travel to and explore with your children. Each national park is filled with history, and your kids can learn about nature as well. Consider signing up for a guided tour from park rangers, and encourage your children to ask questions along the way. Spending time outside has other benefits for your little minds as well, such as improving focus and boosting overall mood. 

Explore New Cultures Together 

The minds of your little ones are so open to new experiences and lessons. Take advantage of it by helping your children to explore cultures that are different from their own. You can use music, art, and even dance to learn about a different region of the United States or even another country. Make a day of it, and make several activities to keep things interesting. Take your children out to a different restaurant or cook a new style of food. Look up facts online, or help your kids pick up the basics of a new language. Opening your kids’ minds to other cultures is a wonderful way to open them up to the world. 

Weekend plans for your family don’t have to be stressful. With some fun, educational options, you can keep everyone learning and making memories that will last a lifetime. 

Do you want to get better at positively influencing those you love? Even your parents?! LOL

Then learn from Chris Voss, former cop turned FBI kidnapping negotiator. What he's learned in his law enforcement practice has transformed his life. He's found his skills, tactics and approach to human interaction effective from customer relations to parenting. Now he's helping businesses apply his principles for greater influence, health, and success. We can take Chris' wisdom to our homes as well to improve our relationships, marriages, and parenting.

(click pic for short video)
 

Here are some negotiation basics I've derived from Chris' book, Never Split the Difference:

• We're driven by cognitive bias, i.e. our subconscious presuppositions which are mixed with our emotions. These instinctual defaults make up the river of consciousness upon which our conscious thoughts ride. If we want to affect each other's rational choices, we'll need to get on the river and not simply what's floating on it. How can we hope to affect where the boat goes if we're not even on the same body of water?

• Complex hostage situations involve emotional crises; thus it follows that the situation is not one of trying to solve a rational problem. The focus must be on human nature and the mechanisms that affect the emotions and subconscious. Often when we get into difficult relational crises with loved ones, it's because we've been taken hostage by unexamined defaults, outdated rules and limiting beliefs. An emotionally driven narrative is driving us apart. To resolve these tensions and heal these ruptures, we need visibility into the unseen mechanisms and pathways of the interior life. 

• Framing changes how we make our choices. Making another 10% effort to go from 45 to 55% is more difficult than going from 90 to 100% though both involve the same percentage points. When our frame is too small or the clip we're looking at is too short, our evaluation of current abilities and performance causes us to give up prematurely or not prioritize for effectiveness, which takes time, to occur. Practicing and exercising a fuller perspective keeps our decisions inline with becoming who and what we truly want.

So if we want to effectively influence behavior and communicate with our loved ones, we'll need to learn more about negotiation. Successful negotiation is communication with results. 

A central skill for positive, effective negotiation is tactical empathy. Because the world is not simply a rational place, but very much governed by emotions and subconscious defaults, stop assuming that people should be rational and agree with you; this mindset blinds. Rather, hypothesize what is unseen and experiment; it guides. Inquiry and discovery open us up to different emotional possibilities and help us be intellectually agile.

We do this with active listening and assessing our perceptions with labeling. Labeling is affirming how someone feels by naming the emotion and respectfully sending it back to them. Try these 3 steps:

1. Identify the others feelings

2. Label it aloud with, “It seems like, it sounds like...“

3. Be silent. Wait for it.

Effectively dealing with negativity starts with observing it without emotion and judgment. Then compassionately label the negative emotions being expressed by their words and tone.

What we're really trying to deal with is the amygdala. Labeling helps powerfully undo the power of fear by bringing it into a safe humble space. What exactly are we all afraid of? Feeling insecure and being rejected. We may say we're not afraid of rejection but the reality is revealed by our defenses. When our counterpart feels heard and understood, they're much more ready to show up for positive, meaningful engagement. Accurately and calmly  labeling fears sets the stage for empathy and empathy is a powerful mood enhancer. This opens the way for rational creative thinking. In contrast, when we seek approval based on our own merit, our words, behaviors and actions end up hiding who we really are as well as those with whom we're negotiating.

The sweetest words in negotiation: "That’s right" or equivalent sentiments. "You’re right" is a disaster. "That’s right" is even better than yes because it's the way towards unconditional positive regard and this a game changer; this generates transformation.

Negotiation is never about what’s on the surface. It’s never linear. There are always hidden needs, irrational blind spots, and undeveloped notions. There is a subterranean world of unspoken needs, wants, and thoughts. What are some examples?

• Misunderstood perceptions of fairness

• Biased perceptions and analyses of personalities

• Stereotyping of back stories

• Immature attitude towards conflict

• Extreme aversion to pain (physical/emotional)

If we effectively address these, we can help people bend their realities as well as our own.

Compromise driven by fear and hypersensitivity settles for status quo; it’s the easy way out and it is less painful. But we end up as frogs in the proverbial slowly heating pot of water.

Creative solutions through tactical empathy almost always involve annoyance, confusion, and conflict. But we’ve got to embrace the hard stuff if we want to go where the great deals are and that’s what great negotiators do. This kind of engagement is applied people smarts. It's practicing a skill that transforms yourself, your family and even the world.

As more and more parents lead their families in this way, the world will continue to find better and better sustainable solutions to the many systemic problems that continue to plague us.

Ready to commit to growing your influencing ability? Book us time to chat. I look forward to exploring the possibilities!

Music, Brain Development, and Literacy

Most people, me included love music. But did you know about the many benefits it has for human development? 

In this issue, I have the privilege of hosting an article from Charles Carpenter, composer for film. I grew up with a decade of piano lessons (involuntarily like many Asian LOL) and though I didn't enjoy much of it, I've definitely been blessed by music's power. Read on to enjoy Charles' insights!

Photo Credit: Unsplash

 

How Music Accelerates Brain Development

and Helps Children Excel in Literacy

Charles Carpenter

Music is often seen as a fun, extracurricular activity for students to enjoy as they take a break from the more serious subjects in school. It can also be used to soothe children, express emotions, and improve social skills. However, music is much more than that. In fact, it can actually accelerate brain development and help children thrive in literacy. Whether you’re a parent or educator, read on to find out how. 

Playing an Instrument

If you’re interested in getting your kid involved in musical training, it’s important to consider their personality and interests when deciding on an instrument. That said, if you’re not sure whether they’ll stick with their lessons, you may want to bypass purchasing an instrument and consider investing in a kid-friendly laptop instead. A plethora of online music programs and apps make it possible for your child to get musical training right from their computer. However, be sure to check out laptop reviews before you make a decision.

Listening

Both music lessons and listening to music can improve a child’s listening skills. Though hearing may be an innate quality, listening is not. In order to listen effectively, kids must be able to maintain their attention and process the information they hear. Music at all levels revolves around listening, which means children who play or listen to the various melodies, rhythms, and dynamics of a song are expanding their attention span and developing their listening ability. 

Moreover, playing a musical instrument as a child can have long-lasting benefits that stretch well into adulthood, such as better auditory attention and hearing speech in noise, better ability to identify emotions in speech, and better ability to process sounds as they age. 

Phonology

Music also helps children develop phonological awareness. This means that they can effectively recognize sounds in a spoken language and work with them to understand words. That’s why phonological awareness is the basis of learning to read. Through development, it will ideally lead to the ability to associate sounds with symbols, pair the symbols with letters, and link the letters to words. The brain processes the musical notes and tones in a song similar to how it processes the sounds and symbols of language, which is why playing and listening to music can be so beneficial for a child’s phonological awareness. 

Vocabulary

Learning music is also one of the most effective ways to expand a child’s vocabulary because kids tend to repeat the words of songs over and over again. The importance of vocabulary for success in this life cannot be overstated. When a child is learning to read, they’re learning to comprehend each word so that they can comprehend a sentence, a paragraph, a book, and so on. The ultimate goal is for the child to lay a foundation to build upon so that they can keep developing their vocabulary for years to come and expand their comprehension of the world they live in. Also, the more words a person knows, the better they can listen, speak, read, and write, and it can enhance that person’s competence and confidence in all areas of life. 

Confidence

Arguably the most beneficial component of music for children and literacy is how it can boost confidence. Lack of confidence hinders many kids from efficiently learning how to read. This is especially true in a class or group setting. Stumbling across just one unfamiliar symbol or word can be enough to shut down a child’s self-esteem when their peers are staring at them. Learning how to play an instrument builds confidence that can carry over to learning to read and write. It provides an outlet for creativity and expression, and helps children grow more comfortable with performing in front of others. 

Music is fun, and lots of people enjoy listening to and playing it. However, don’t underestimate the power music can have on your child’s life and education. Encourage your child to get involved in music, whether it’s learning how to compose or simply playing an instrument!
 

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I hope you'll continually make music a source of enrichment in your family's life and that it'll strengthen and beautify your soul to connect with all that's meaningful.

Cheers!

Why should we perpetually pursue personal growth?

Here are 10 rules (from Dr. Cherie Carter Scott):
 

And 10 regrets and victories (from Robin Sharma):

10 Human Regrets:

1. You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you.

2. You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits you to do great work and achieve great things.

3. You reached your last day not realizing that you never inspired anyone else by the example you set.

4. You reach your last day full of pain at the realization that you never took risks and so you never received any bright rewards.

5. You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of mastery because you bought into the lie that you had to be resigned to mediocrity.

6. You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that  you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold. 

7. You reach your last day regretting that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful only to yourself.

8. You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended up living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have.

9. You reach your last day and awaken to the fact that you never realized your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were built to become.

10.You reached your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much better than you found it. But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scary. And so you failed. And wasted a life.
 

10 Human Victories:
 

1. You reach your end full of happiness and fulfillment on realizing that you are all used up—having spent the fullness of your talents, the biggest of your resources, and best of your potential doing great work and leading a rare-air life.
2. You reach your end knowing that you played at a  standard of concentrated excellence and held yourself to the most impeccable of standards in each thing that you did.
3. You reach your end in noisy celebration for having the boldness of spirit to have regularly confronted your largest fears and realized your highest visions.
4. You reach your end and recognize that you became a person who built people up versus one who tore people down.
5. You reach your end with the understanding that while your journey may have not always been a smooth one, whenever you got knocked down you instantly got back up—and at all times, never suffered from any loss of optimism.
6. You reach your end and bask in the staggering glory of your phenomenal achievements along with the rich value you have contributed to the lives of the people you were lucky to serve.
7. You reach your end and adore the strong, ethical, inspirational, and empathetic person you grew into. 
8. You reach your end and realize that you were a genuine innovator who blazed new trails instead of following old roads.
9. You reach your end surrounded with teammates who call you a rock star, customers who say you’re a hero, and loved ones who call you a legend.
10. You reach your end as a true Leader Without a Title, knowing that the great deeds you did will endure long after your death and that your life stands as a model of possibility.

But of course, here's the challenge: HOW?

Each of us have a different path to become and achieve our potential. But a primary commonality we all share is how we lead ourselves. And how we lead ourselves depends on the extent to which we know ourselves and also how we know ourselves. 

When personal growth becomes an integral part of our life practice, it fosters increasing knowledge and attention to our interior, behaviors and outcomes.

The discipline of personal development consistently builds us up to be ready to encounter life's most difficult struggles: marital and parenting challenges, dynamics of aging (others and our own), and the fears that drive it all.

As we head into the 2nd half of 2018, I encourage you to prioritize and commit to ongrowing leadership development in yourself and those you live and work with. It's the only way to prevent regrets and effectively overcome life's many challenges.

Life And Fishing

In a moment, I’m going to share about an exciting new offering. So stay with me and I’ll explain exactly what that is.

It has to do with fishing and living.

They're both fun and at times, frustrating. But more importantly, they're about connections.

To connect with fish:

• Get on a body of water. Obvious right?
• Determine locations.
• Decide on a bait to use.
• Cast to high percentage areas, where fish are likely to hang out, ie. weeds, downed trees, rocks, etc.

To connect with life:

• We go to various locations, determined by our relationships and responsibilities.
• We try different things, learn what works, develop meaning, and commit to a particular path to achieve our goals (i.e. land that job, find the love of our lives, become fulfilled).
• And when we navigate the path of life effectively, we connect with love, the unifying force of the universe. 

But as we all know, connections are not always easy. They can be challenged, threatened and even compromised.

In fishing, weather and water conditions are significant factors; gear can fail; we make ineffective choices on where to fish and what to use. 

In life, relationships and emotions are significant factors we must give attention and priority. If they aren't healthy, it will be difficult for us to become persons who live effectively. Why? They hugely impact our decision making.

To overcome these challenges, we need to be secure connectors, able to help others do the same. This requires experience, education and encouragement.

In fishing, there are a lot of resources for improvement but one of the most helpful and important is time on the water. Information and tools are helpful but the experience you gain from making right and wrong decisions and the results which validate (or not) your decisions  are essential to becoming a better angler. Only on the water can you know what's underneath the surface, from bottom composition, structure, and cover to the presence of baitfish and predatory fish (your target species). With real time data, you make informed choices, casting what you think will work. Getting bit confirms your thoughts and actions. It's all about real time effectiveness.

In the same way, to get better at connecting with life, you need to spend time on the water so to speak. It's not just doing things together. But it's being present in ways that meet the needs of the heart. And this comes from time on the water of one’s inner life. This is how we develop an effective understanding into managing perceptions and perspectives (emotions, narratives, attitudes, beliefs and values). Time on the water is the time you invest to know and lead yourself and to work at lovingly caring for what matters most, your heart and soul.

If you want to better connect with your loved ones, you need to be a healthy presence. To make better choices for long term health and success, you'll need to start with yourself. You can't give what you don't have.

Because challenges in life and fishing are not easily figured out, we need a healthy mind, heart, and soul. This means having an openness to learning from the good and bad. This is how we make better decisions, consistently synthesizing internal and external factors and meaningfully understanding them. Thus both in life and fishing, ideas, experimentation, data, and results all help us dial into what works to fulfill our hard-wired purpose: loving and being loved.
 

I want to invite you to an exclusive on-location coaching expedition. We'll spend a day on my boat, fishing and exploring the connections you want to give more attention to. At the end of the day, you'll walk away with your next steps with greater clarity and motivation. If you're interested, message me for more information.

Trip Details:

• Duration: 7am-5pm
• Destination: SF Bay Area Freshwater Bodies of Water
• Activities:
  • Retreat for your mind, heart, soul
  • Coffee and Mapping
  • Determine High Percentage Areas
  • 5 hours of Execution, Experimentation, Learning
  • Synthesis of Connections
  • Identify Next Steps

Looking forward to our time on the water.