June 2021 Update: Transition

Dear Friends,

I just transitioned out of a 3 year interim ministry position. Contributed to the health and direction of the faith community. Fostered holistic leadership and replaced myself with a highly favored in-house member. Made great friendships. It’s been a wonderful season of growth and development.

As I reflect, I learned much about the often overlooked value of navigating perplexities to arrive at greater harmony within oneself and deeper relationships. To graciously see and effectively act on the opportunities that crises bring, we need hearts that are open to discomfort and struggles that occur within. Without diving into the depths of emotional health and meaningfully engaging hurts and fears, purpose, brand and culture fall short of desired alignment. In every organization (companies, nonprofits, families), there are covert values that perpetuate status quo, dysfunctions, and hypocrisy. This is true of our interiors as well. Without substantial understanding of underlying drivers of imbalanced priorities (for ourselves and others), attention is kept on pragmatic concerns and solutions.

An overemphasis on being practical is the result of aversion to interior perplexities ie. triggers, emotional baggage, irrational insecurities, chronic anxiety and worry etc. Without clarity about deep issues, we’re stuck with binary thinking, a consciousness that never really addresses our problems nor finds true, long term solutions. Things are either good or bad, right or wrong, black or white. It’s all or nothing. My way or the high way. Dualistic thinking keeps leaders and organizations in the shallow end of serving their communities and constituencies. Worst case scenario, corruption and oppression. It perpetuates conflict and tensions in our marriages and families. It disconnects us from our children as they become adolescents and progress towards individuation. Peace and integration are not experienced and we lose our souls because the essence of our soul is integration.

Without deep growth and development, the most important things that truly change people’s lives for the better, that effectively help the marginalized, that bring hope to those silently struggling never emerge in the consciousness of decision makers. Plans and actions may look different but essentially remain the same for years and even decades.

In this new season, I hope to be an agent of wholeness to support those who want to deeply develop their capacity and ability for greater personal and organizational health. Take advantage of the reset opportunity that this past year and a half has given us. DM me to chat about what this could look like for your company, your nonprofit, your family, your marriage, your soul.

You can check out my impact at CLC here. I received feedback from parents, kids, young and older adults, and staff. Felt much love!

Leadership Skills Will Help Your Child Thrive

In this post, I’m glad to host Laura Pearson to share with us a very important part of our responsibility and privilege as parents—empowering our kids with leadership and fostering their capacity to impact and influence the world. Too often this is overlooked in the day to day activities. We may enroll them in various programs but fail to genuinely encourage them towards authentic leadership that starts with their own hearts. Laura provides a balanced approach and great tips! Please check out her website, http://edutude.net/ for K-12 resources to support your child’s learning.

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Leadership is one of the most crucial skills for young people. In a world that is in turmoil from conflicts and illness, the ability to stand up for your own ideas is invaluable. Not only do leadership skills empower children to take the wheel in school and work, but it will also give them the confidence to make good decisions in their personal lives, as well. 

Family Connections Coaching is committed to ensuring that parents can give their children the best chance at success possible. To that end, we’ve gathered some tips for helping your child unleash her inner leader: 

Set An Example 

Show your child how to lead and succeed: 

• Encourage your child to talk to the adults in her life - family, teachers, friends - about their definition of success and how they got to where they are. 

• Show her how important education and betterment is by learning a new skill or working toward a master’s degree. 

• Have your child pick one of these books about real kids who were catalysts for change for inspiration. 

Encourage Interests 

Passion is a core component of confidence. 

• If she hasn’t already, encourage your child to try out some clubs and extracurricular activities at school or in your community.

• If she shows interest in a particular activity, encourage her to take a leadership role or dig deeper into the field. 

• Avoid pushing your own interests - if she’s naturally into them, then you can bond over it together, but if she’s not, you may push her away from it altogether. 

Build Confidence 

The teen years are a crucial time for building confidence and helping your child believe in herself. 

• Encourage your child to get involved in causes she cares about so she can see how her work makes a difference in the world. 

• Body image is often rough on teens - avoid any negative self-talk about your own appearance to set a confident example. 

• Consider getting your teen one of these confidence-building guided journals. 

• Here are some more tips and ideas for boosting your teen’s confidence. 

Teenagers are learning a lot about themselves during this stage of life, and the lessons they learn can follow them well into adulthood. Focus on helping them discover their best selves, and help them to believe they have the power to take charge and make a difference in their world. In doing so, you empower them to become the strong, confident adult they deserve to be. 

Look to Family Connections Coaching for more information and opportunities to help you grow as a parent so your family can thrive. 

Photo Credit: Pexels

Creative Ways Parents Can Prevent Boredom on Cold and Rainy Fall Days

In this post, I have the pleasure of sharing great parenting ideas from Carrie Spencer that both educate and entertain! Enjoy!

Photo Credit: Pexels

Creative Ways Parents Can Prevent Boredom on Cold and Rainy Fall Days 

The days are getting shorter and the temperatures are getting cooler, which can only mean one thing: fall and winter are right around the corner! While these seasons can be filled with tons of fun outdoor adventures and festive holidays to keep your family connected, they can also be filled with rainy or windy days that will have kids feeling stir-crazy indoors. To beat that boredom and keep those blustery days filled with exciting and educational activities your whole family can enjoy,consider using some of these brilliant ideas. 

Get Creative With Your Family History 

If you’re looking for an educational and enjoyable activity to keep your kids having fun indoors, why not let them take a crack at your family tree? Genealogy can help your children learn about their relatives as well as any cultural background around them, and ancestry databases make it really simple to fill in your family’s history. They can even interview you and their grandparents or other older family members, to get even more fun details and facts. 

Want to access ancestry sites without paying expensive monthly fees? Try signing up for a free trial before your kids start their family tree. 

Build Stronger Connections With Each Other 

As you look for rainy day activities to help keep your kids entertained this fall and winter, also look for activities that will strengthen your connections. For example, exercising as a family or preparing healthy snacks together are both ways to beat boredom and keep your family healthy. Taking some time to laugh and have fun together can also be crucial for strong bonds, so maybe plan a family movie day complete with a family-friendly comedy. 

If you are looking to take your connection and resiliency to the next level, you can also consider participating in a seminar or workshop from Family Connections Coaching, which will help your family thrive. 

Allow Your Kids to Benefit From Gaming 

Yes, you read that correctly. Playing video games can have quite a few benefits for your children, so there’s no reason why you can’t let them stay warm inside with their favorite games. Kids who play video games tend to have a better sense of connection, independence and competence, plus gaming can help children develop conflict resolution and even STEM skills, especially for girls. 

For kids who play online games with friends, for the fun of family game nights, and to keep up your Zoom meetings while the kids are playing, you need to make sure your home internet connection can handle that activity. The best internet for gaming should also allow you to work or study from home with minimal lag time or interruptions.

Prepare Some Tasty Fall Treats Together 

If you want to keep your kids having fun and learning on cooler fall days, you should get them into the kitchen! Teaching kids cooking skills will not only impart one of life’s most basic and helpful skills, but this family activity can also help your children learn more about math, problem-solving, reading comprehension, nutrition and so much more. 

The next time rainy or windy weather has your kids feeling bored, look up some fun fall recipes that you can all cook or prepare as a family. With a few basic ingredients and some simple steps, you could whip up some scrumptious french toast sticks for breakfast or some pumpkin cookies as a sweet treat. 

Rainy, windy or snowy days don’t have to turn into boring days for your kids. Just be prepared with a few creative and fun-filled activities, and you can prevent the boredom that can lead to behavior issues and conflicts. You can even plan for activities your entire family can enjoy this fall and winter. After all, grown-ups can get bored on rainy days too! 

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Family Connections Coaching is pleased to support you throughout your parenting journey with holistic coaching, workshops, and family-oriented services, so visit our website to learn more.

Medication Disaster Plan: Building and storing a first aid kit

In this post, I have the pleasure of sharing a great resource from Sarah Breckon of Singlecare.com. She graciously reached out to me and offered this to my readers and me to support us in our preparedness for emergencies. Please check out Singlecare.com for a wealth of information regarding health and wellness. Enjoy!

Original blog

By SINGLECARE TEAM | APRIL 15, 2020
Medically reviewed by ANIS REHMAN, MD

Emergencies and natural disasters are a threat for everyone, and for people who need prescription medications to treat serious medical issues, the threat doesn’t stop once a pandemic subsides, the floods recede, or the fires go out.

If you take life-saving medication, or are a caregiver for someone who does, practicing effective emergency preparedness should be part of your care strategy.

What is emergency preparedness?

Emergency preparedness is the act of carrying out a few, well-known actions that increase your level of safety during a crisis.

Some emergencies are international news—like a hurricane approaching a major city. But not every emergency makes CNN. A family member can unexpectedly fall ill or a gas leak can require your whole block to evacuate.

What are the four phases of emergency preparedness?

These are the four phases of preparedness:

1. Mitigation

2. Preparedness

3. Response

4. Recovery

Whether you know it or not, you and everyone in your community are in one or more of these phases right now.

The mitigation phase involves activities that limit the damage an emergency could cause. For example, removing dry branches around a property could prevent a brush fire from reaching the home.

The preparedness phase is training for events that can’t be mitigated. An out-of-control forest fire may require homeowners to evacuate no matter how thorough their prevention efforts. Activities may include creating an emergency kit or go bag.

The response phase consists of actions taken during and immediately after the emergency. A parent evacuating their family as a fire approaches is an example of response phase activity.

The recovery phase begins once life gets (mostly) back to normal. Life and property are no longer threatened and schools and businesses have started to reopen. Now the focus turns to repairing physical, financial, and emotional damage caused by the emergency. Recovery includes determining how to limit the damage from future, similar emergencies and restarts the mitigation phase.

What kind of emergencies should you prepare for?

Based on where you live, some emergencies are more likely than others. Understanding the risks in your area can guide your thinking as you develop an emergency or natural disaster preparedness plan.

Emergency planners categorize disasters into three categories.

• Minor emergencies (e.g., a residential house fire)

• Limited and potential emergencies (e.g., localized flooding)

• Major disasters (e.g., an earthquake)

Every community is subject to different hazards, and every adult has different responsibilities. A single pet owner living in a floodplain will make different preparation plans than a mother of five in a major city prone to earthquakes.

Consider which emergencies are most likely in your area, and what would be required of you in every case.

Using medications during an emergency

Considering your medication needs during an emergency could be a life-or-death decision. Everyone who requires medication should consider how they would maintain their supply during the types of emergencies they are most likely to experience.

The preparedness phase is the most important one to think about to ensure access to medication. What would you do in case of an unexpected disaster you can’t mitigate like a strong earthquake or 100-year flood? These are some things to consider.

Keep an up-to-date list of medications including dose and indicated use

Emergencies are stressful times, and you don’t want to rely on memory if you need to replace medications for yourself or the people who need them. What if you need a pill you’ve been taking for years and you’re incapacitated? Will a search and rescue team know what medication you need?

Know how much medication is on hand

Keep a calendar that shows when your medication will run out. This will help you remember to order refills and provide a quick reference in case of emergency. You’ll be able to see just how large your supply is, and if you have advance warning of an impending emergency that could disrupt access to your pharmacy, you’ll know whether you need to quickly obtain early refills.

Place medication bottles or packages in water-tight containers

Medicine storage containers can take many forms from a large stack of drawers in a hospital to a simple plastic pill box. If heavy rain or flooding is a hazard for your community, consider storing your medications in a water-tight container like a plastic food storage bin.

If flood water comes into contact with your medications, it’s strongly recommended that you not use them unless absolutely necessary.

Have a cooler available for medications that need refrigeration

Natural disasters like forest fires, earthquakes, and hurricanes can take the power grid offline. If your refrigerator stopped working, how would you keep your medication cold? Anyone who takes refrigerated medications should keep a small portable cooler on hand. Gel travel coolers are less messy (though ice will work, too).

For insulin medication used to treat high blood glucose associated with diabetes, refrigeration is recommended but not absolutely necessary. Insulin can be left unrefrigerated for up to 28 days, as long as the temperature stays between 59 and 86 degrees Fahrenheit. If you live in an area with extreme temperatures, consider how you would keep your insulin within this temperature range in case of an evacuation. A cooler can be used to keep insulin safe. Insulin isn’t dangerous to take if exposed to extreme temperatures, it simply loses effectiveness. Since insulin is a life-sustaining drug for diabetes type 1 patients, keeping insulin supplies at optimum temperature is important. Follow the FDA recommendations for insulin usage in an emergency, and see this insulin storage chart for information about specific products.

As part of your emergency preparation plan, ask your doctor or pharmacist if any of your medications require refrigeration.

Here’s a list of common prescription medications that must stay refrigerated.

• All the insulins

• Byetta

• Trulicity

• Humira

• Dupixent

This is not a comprehensive list, please check with your pharmacist for your medications that may need refrigeration.

How do you get medication in an emergency situation?

Any pharmacy can supply emergency fills of certain critical medications when the patient has an immediate therapeutic need. Examples include antibiotics, insulin, and rescue inhalants.

As you consider how emergency fills fit into your emergency preparedness plan, be aware of these restrictions:

• You must have a prescription to get an emergency fill.

• Emergency fills are (at most) only a seven-day supply.

• You must pay the full cost of the medication upfront at the pharmacy, and apply for full or partial reimbursement later. The amount of your reimbursement will depend on your plan.

• With many health plans, if you go to an out-of-network pharmacy, you will not be reimbursed.

Additional rules around emergency fills (including which specific medications are allowed) vary depending on your health insurance plan.

For medications that are not considered emergency fills, you won’t be able to get a refill until you’re able to contact your health provider.

Basic medications, like pain relievers, may be available at shelters or delivered by emergency management authorities.

What is a first aid kit?

A first aid kit is a collection of supplies that can be used to mitigate health issues until professional medical attention is available. The Centers for Disease Control recommends that families have an emergency kit that should include both first aid supplies and nonmedical supplies.

What should be in a first aid kit?

The Red Cross recommends these items for a first aid kit:

• Absorbent compress dressings

• Adhesive bandages

• Adhesive cloth tape

• Antibiotic ointment packets

• Antiseptic wipe packets

• Aspirin (81 milligrams each)

• Emergency blanket

• Breathing barrier

• Instant cold compress

• Non-latex gloves

• Hydrocortisone ointment packets

• A gauze roll bandage

• Sterile gauze pad

• An oral thermometer

• Triangular bandages

• Tweezers

• An emergency first aid instructional guide

What should not be in a first aid kit?

Do not put anything in your first aid kit that could contaminate your supplies or otherwise render them unusable. One example: A glass mercury thermometer, which could break and spill a dangerous chemical and broken glass.

If you buy a pre-assembled first aid kit from a reputable source, you won’t need to worry about this risk.

What is a go bag?

A go bag is a collection of personal and medical items that will help you survive an emergency and recover faster from the effects. Your first aid kit (or go bag medicine kit) is just one component of a go bag.

The contents of your go bag will depend on your personal situation and where you store it.

The go bag in your home, where you have a lot of storage space, can be much bigger than the go bag at your office or in your car.

These are the general categories to consider:

• Food

• Water

• Cash

• Personal sanitation and hygiene supplies

• Prescription medications and prescriptions

• Survival needs

• Communications devices and chargers

• Personal identity and financial documents

• Ways to keep kids occupied

Home go bags

The Department of Homeland Security recommends that your home emergency kit has enough supplies that you could survive for 72 hours in the event of an emergency.

The specific items you’ll need to meet that goal depends on the size of your family and where you live.

Take water, for instance. Your home emergency kit should have 3 gallons of water per person (a gallon per person per day) and perhaps more if you live in a very hot area.

What about food? A 3-day supply for a family with four teenagers will be a lot more than for a family with a 7-year-old. If you have a baby, your emergency kit must contain three days’ worth of baby formula.

Survival needs will differ. If you live in Vermont, three days of survival might require a constant heating source and heavy blankets. In Hawaii, one small emergency blanket might do.

Consider the type of emergency you’re likely to experience in your area. The CDC recommends specific supplies for people in earthquake-prone areas (e.g., heavy, durable gloves for cleaning up debris, and a tow rope to facilitate rescues). People in flood-prone areas may want to pay special attention to how they’ll keep supplies dry if they evacuate in standing water.

Car and workplace go bags

You won’t be able to store as many survival items in your car or at your workplace as you can in your home. But emergencies happen at any time, so you should consider what you’d want to have with you.

Again, your kit will depend on your situation. If your office is walking distance from your home, you probably don’t need as extensive an emergency kit as you would if you commute 30 miles to work. If you rarely drive outside the city, you don’t need as many supplies as you would if you frequently find yourself on rural highways.

How to use an emergency preparedness plan template

Respected authorities such as the American Red Cross and the Department of Homeland Security offer general emergency preparedness plan templates.

Your state or other local government may also have templates specific to your area. This one for residents of Montgomery County, Maryland, includes community-specific information like utility company phone numbers and frequencies of local radio stations.

These emergency preparedness templates ask key questions about you and your family, and contain general guidelines that apply to everyone. Specific questions about prescription medication are among them.

Planning now ensures less confusion later

Practicing good emergency preparedness provides much needed certainty in the confusion of an emergency situation. Answers to questions like “how will I get my next dose of insulin?” will already be decided. Preparing now can prevent a dangerous health risk for you or your family.

First aid

Family Activity: Getting Your Kids Involved in Emergency Planning

I have the privilege of hosting another article from Charles Carpenter. He actually submitted this to me back in December. My apologies for the delay! But his content is definitely applicable to our current situation with the corona virus pandemic. The principles of helping our loved ones make meaning and appropriate plans to understand and act effectively in crisis is hugely important. Crises, traumas and losses, whether global, local, interpersonal or intrapersonal, require processes for us to make sense of them to healthily respond and recover. Charles has provided great guidance towards this end.

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Courtesy of Pixabay

California has seen weather-related events of epic proportions over the years. The state has witnessed deadly weather, sustained billions of dollars in damage, and been forced to deal with the aftermath of these disasters. 

Children can quickly become frightened, especially if they see mom and dad looking worried. Of course, it’s important that you know what to do in the event of a natural disaster, but your kids also need to understand what’s going on and to feel reassured that you have a plan in place, that everything will be alright because you’re ready for the worst.

That means including your children in disaster planning so they have a sense of control and self-empowerment, and a knowledge of what it means to be in an emergency situation. Keeping them informed with conversation and answering their questions calmly and patiently gives them the tools they need to cope with a scary situation.

A dialogue

Maintaining a dialogue with your kids is a good way to keep them thinking rather than panicking. Start by explaining what causes storms, floods, mudslides, and wildfires, and why California is particularly vulnerable to them. Discuss climate change and its possible repercussions for the area and list some ways you can all help prevent global warming. Spend some time online researching the causes of severe weather or check out a YouTube video that explains the science behind it all clearly and in layman’s terms. If you have teenagers, allow them to express their feelings without judging what they’re saying. Remember, you want to assuage fears by providing information and communicating openly.

Plan

Involve your kids in planning for a natural disaster. Work together to figure out what you should include in an emergency kit, things like first aid items and prescription medications; a change of clothes; a flashlight and batteries; a knife and matches; food and water; and a raincoat or poncho. Tell them they can bring one or two items but no more, and explain why. If you’re being evacuated to an emergency shelter or a converted public building, explain why it’s important to remain there until the weather clears. The more disaster preparation is a conversation in your home, the better your family will handle the situation in the moment, and the safer everyone will be.

Evacuation

When dangerous weather forces evacuations, everyone’s scared and anxious about what’s going to happen to their home and belongings. It’s especially frightening for children when it comes with little or no warning. They need to understand why things are happening, especially since it all takes place so fast. Explain that evacuating is for everyone’s good and that you’re doing everything according to your disaster plan. Make it an intellectual rather than an emotional discussion by explaining in detail why it’s happening, how it happened, and why you’re leaving.

Pet Plan

Pets are one of the reasons why many people choose not to evacuate. In the eyes of a child, leaving behind a furry family member can be a significant source of fear, but pets should never be left behind. For this reason, it is extremely important to have a pet evacuation plan in place. Instead, arrange for a safe haven either with you, a local animal shelter/boarding facility, friends, or family members. Encourage your kids to help you put together a pet emergency kit with food, water, updated tags/photos, first aid kit, and toys. If your pet will be staying elsewhere until the situation subsides, explain to your child that their beloved pet is safe, sound, and happy.  

The more information you have in an emergency, the better you’ll be able to cope with the situation and anticipate other problems that might arise. The same goes for your kids. Like you, they need information to better understand what’s happening and why your family is going to such lengths to stay safe.

My interview with National Coach Academy

Thanks NCA for featuring me on your site!

Also thanks to Brandon Baker from Life Coach Path for conducting the interview!

NCA: Can you describe your coaching practice and the kinds of clients you typically work with?

Cecil: Family Connections Coaching partners with individuals and organizations to clarify and move towards greater health and integration. I believe wholeness supports the growth and development needed to effectively lead and manage our personal and professional lives. My clients have been parents, young couples, as well as leaders of nonprofit organizations.

NCA: What initially got you interested in this career path and what kind of degree or certifications did you need to complete, if any?

Cecil: In 2010, I started a director position to support the Christian education ministry of a church. In that role, I worked with a large volunteer staff as well as parents. A friend informed me of an introductory seminar on coaching and after attending, I knew this skill set would greatly increase my ability to challenge and support my staff and families. I started an ICF approved program in 2011 and got my Certificate of Transformational Coaching in 2014.

NCA: What is the most rewarding part of your career?

Cecil: I’ve found tremendous satisfaction in my clients’ courage, commitment and breakthrough’s in growing up and waking up. Seeing them progress in more meaningful awareness and skills of self leadership and care that results in more effective navigation of personal and professional matters.

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I hope my responses encourage up and coming coaches to pursue and develop themselves for greater effectiveness in serving others!

Christmas Mystery

Work, family, faith, fitness, finances.

Injustices, corruption, crime, death.

Success, wealth, power, fame.

Depression, anxiety, sorrow, grief.

What is it all for? What does it all mean? What are we doing with them?

Answers can be enigmatic.

Depending on the severity of our adverse experiences, it can all be quite problematic. Without the health and fortitude of substantial support from family, community, and living conditions, effective management and positive outcomes may be quite difficult to execute and achieve.

What is your map to happiness and success?

What operating system is running your personal programming?

What effects are you experiencing from hidden defaults and dynamics?

As divine image bearers, we are made to be creative, productive leaders and managers of all things. But with the profound mixture and complexity of earthly existence, we encounter and suffer many challenges to fulfilling our purpose and calling.

Christ (the incarnation of the universal pattern of order, disorder, reorder) is the spiritual path to help us make sense of life's mysteries and overcome the chronic, potentially devastating difficulties caused by life's greatest challenges: fear and pain associated with trauma and loss.

This pathway began with an incarnation of descent—God becoming one with what He loves: people. The nativity story identifies the radical problems of society: government control and corruption by elites, and its persecution of threats; inconveniences, struggles, and sufferings of the poor caused by unjust economics and politics; the failures of religion and anemic spirituality. Jesus came into the world and experienced all of that. And the pathway also begins there for us. We don't have to look far to see those realities.

And yet, that's exactly the context of Christmas. Into this mess comes God's gift to redeem the perpetual, systemic  madness and dysfunction created by broken, unhealthy leaders.

With this backdrop, the underlying mysterious purpose and goal of God's mission in Christ shines bright: "that they may be one as we are one" (John 17:11)

This desire for oneness first showed up in Genesis 2:24, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." So we see that essential to oneness is departure from one's origins. 

The departure narrative is seen again in God's call to Abraham in Genesis 12:1, "Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you." 

When Abraham's descendants became a nation, the departure narrative shows up again in Israel's exodus from Egypt.

Now when they were about to enter the Promised Land of Canaan, in Moses' pre-entrance exposition of the law (Deuteronomy), he made the fundamental, unitive statement: the Lord our God, the Lord is one (Deut.6:4). And from His infinite resources, we are commanded to love Him with all our heart, soul, and strength (6:5).

Jesus identified this commandment as the greatest. To be one with Him by being one as He is one. To be whole as He is whole. To be an integrated being as He is the supreme, integrated Being.

What does this mean for us today? 

Leave and cleave.

Depart old dysfunctional systems to embrace timeless, invaluable things of eternity: faith, hope, and love. Those who live this pattern find their identity in Christ, the universal template.

What does this look like? 

Slowing down for solitude, silence, and stillness. 

Growing deeper, broader, higher self knowledge to "...grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Eph.3:18-19  

From that place of security, begin letting go of that which is not aligned with the wholeness of God's Love. Create time and space for connections: to God, to others, to self.

Christmas is God's gift for an integral understanding and effective synthesis of the diverse experiences listed at the beginning of this message. It begins with the simple story of the Nativity. Christ's ministry was one of healing, ie. making people whole. He completed His mission on the cross: God's courageous, compassionate, and redemptive embrace of our pain and suffering.

The direction of this Love is oneness. More contemporary words are integration and wholeness. This will involve growing up and waking up, ie. developing maturity while also growing spiritually. This is the way, truth and life of becoming who we really are and doing what we were made to do.

This is in stark contrast to living hypocritically, always trying to please people, putting on personas that run on fumes of futility  and fears. Not managing ourselves while trying to control everything else. 

What does Christmas really look like?

Becoming more and more whole. A life of recovery from addictions and healing from abandonment. Forgiveness and freeedom. 

Christmas is about the mystery of becoming one as He is one. We become witness to all things real and true: the good, the bad, and the painful.

Only divine love has the power to live the mystery of Christmas.

Echoing Paul's words in Ephesians 3:16-19, 

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Have a mysterious Christmas!

No Screens Necessary!

In this issue, I'm happy to host Charles Carpenter with his suggestions for holiday shopping. He has written for me previously on music and weekend activities. Many of you enjoyed those articles and I hope you will find this one helpful as well.

Be sure to click on all his links to get your wheels turning.

Cheers!

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Photo credit: Pixabay

No Screens Necessary! These Budget-Friendly Gift Ideas Are Perfect for Creative Kiddos 

Whether you’re a parent, a grandparent, or anyone else who has a special little one on your gift list, it can be a challenge to find the right gift at the rightprice. It seems like kids are always using mobile devices, yet research tells us that we should limit their screen time. And while tech devices are here to stay, that doesn’t mean that hands-on toys are a thing of the past! These unique gift ideas are perfect for modern kiddos, and even better news is that buying them doesn’t have to put a strain on your budget.

Experience Gifts

If you want to find an educational gift that doesn’t require electronics, one of the first things to consider is giving an experience. Experience gifts can come in many forms. One idea is to give kids their very own luggage so that the family can take more trips together. Luggage is the perfect gift for kids to get excited about going to new places, and you can make this gift even more fun by picking something in their favorite color or a character they love. Fortunately, you can save money on these purchases by searching for luggage deals online.

Another way to give an experience is to give a subscription. Kids who love to read will enjoy a magazine or book subscription, or for a hands-on option, you can give a subscription activity box. If you opt for an activity box, Real Simple recommends some great choices for every interest, whether they like science, art, crafts, or cooking. These gifts are cost-effective because they’re ongoing, rather than a single item that kids forget quickly. Plus, with most subscriptions, you can set up automatic draft to be billed monthly rather than paying the full price all at once.

STEM Gifts

The newest buzzword in educational activities for kids is STEM, which stands for science, technology, engineering, and math. Like activity boxes that focus on specific interests, STEM gifts can be a set of supplies that encourages these activities. If the kids on your list are into science, you can find hands-on science kits for every age and interest. You can order these online, and many can also be found at craft stores where you can use coupons to save money. 

Gifts by Skill Set

Instead of choosing gifts by subject, another way to pick fun and educational toys for kids is to choose by the type of skills they help build. For example, This Reading Mama breaks down gift ideas based on ones that build reading/writing, fine motor, and math skills. When you’re picking gifts by skills, age is an essential factor to consider too. For example, the best educational gifts for toddlers are tactile activities, like shape sorters and matching puzzles. Some categories work for kids of all ages, but the skill level varies by age. One example is building blocks — toddlers may love simple wooden blocks to stack, whereas older kids will enjoy more advanced building sets like Legos. Of course, generic brands of building blocks can be just as high quality as the brand names, and shopping for these toys off-label is a great way to bring down the cost.

Shopping for off-brands, using coupons, and looking for clearance deals are just a few ways you can keep holiday gifts from getting too expensive. The holiday season is magical for kids, but in spite of the fun and excitement, parents often feel stressed. We hope these ideas for choosing gifts and saving money will take your stress level down a notch so you can enjoy the magic too.

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As you foster creativity in your children, I hope you are doing the same for yourself. To be our best at home and work, the people in our lives need creativity to bring in fresh ideas, perspectives, plans and practices. 

Prioritize your personal growth for 2020. Perpetual evolution towards integration is paramount, now more than ever. Without it, we lose sight of what matters most:  courage, compassion, and connection.

What IS perfection?

God is perfect.

And many people try to be perfect. But often times, perfectionists make life hard on others and themselves. It happens when ideas of perfection do not align with God's; that's when perfection becomes problematic.

Jesus Christ is God's revelation of His perfection. According to Richard Rohr, it is the inclusion of things that do not seem perfect to create a fuller wholeness. In the Bible, from what happened in the Garden of Eden to God's incarnation, death and resurrection, we see Him including many imperfections to give us revelation of true perfection. Wholeness is perfection, not simply doing things right or executing our plans without delay or mistakes. Perfection is not about having things turn out exactly how we envisioned. It's how we take all of our problems in this world, internally and externally, and redeem what was lost through our collective failures and inabilities. Wholeness is folding in our toughest challenges into new, life giving solutions for all.

That's what God has been doing all along.

Jesus belonged to a poor family. He was born in a place for animals. He was a blue collar worker. He connected with those sick and disabled. He attracted those disdained by 'moral, upright' members of society. By a politically corrupt system, He was unjustly persecuted, condemned, tortured and executed. But through the Biblical record, we see meaningful integration—divine power inside human frailty. This is the wholeness we all need. It's the manifestation of the eternal virtues of faith, hope, and love that generate and foster wholeness for the human race.

When we achieve our perfections, are we creating greater wholeness for all? Especially the marginalized and oppressed? Does our perfection include the 1 lost sheep, the lost coin, or the prodigal? If it doesn't, it's not God's perfection. It only becomes part of a degenerative system perpetuating poverty and powerlessness.

With Christ, the incarnation of God, we've been given a radical revelation of true perfection and the means to wholeness.

Jesus said, "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:9, 10

For the longest time, this was a curious passage for me. Then I came across the idea of how we move from our home base character to engage our environment then return back to our place of rest (true self); meaning there is that which comes naturally to us and there are activities (mental and physical) that take us outside of that. Within those movements, there are stressful directions and restful ones. For example, a big part of my nature is being a maverick. I'm in my element being different, unorthodox, challenging what is normative. When I engage my world with thoughtful observation and investigation, it takes energy and generates stress. But when I move towards being helpful and nurturing, I experience relaxation and relief. I've consistently experienced this in my personal and professional life.

Movement towards stress is part of everyday life. Movement towards peace is needed. To effectively manage this dynamic, we need to operate from our home base, ie. from who we truly are. And not simply from this natural sense of self but being a healthy version of ourselves. If our core identity has been compromised (by trauma, loss, overwhelming pressures), we're living from a false self and this is dysfunctional, delusional, and possibly devastating.

What is Christ's role in this?

He is the entry way into the place of true belonging and peace. When we receive God's gift of unconditional love, we're on the journey to our true self.

But as the gate, He is also the exit point to exploring, experiencing, and engaging all of creation outside of ourselves. His love frees us from the fears of rejection and failure. With His Spirit, we have courage to go beyond our comfort zones to discover what's real and mature into greater wholeness.

Before Christ became a human being, He was the integrating principle of the entire universe. Richard Rohr has articulated this as the pattern of order, disorder, and reorder. We see this manifested in organic and inorganic matter, laws of thermodynamics, and even quantum physics. All matter and energy are governed by the Christ pattern. This is at the core of God's perfection. This is the inclusion of things that do not seem perfect (disorder) to create (reorder) a fuller wholeness.

But what stops us from experiencing this divine pattern/ Christ? Fear. No wonder the Bible contains hundreds of exhortations to not be afraid.

God's remedy? Perfect love.

The apostle John in his first epistle said, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." 1 Jn 4:18

Avoiding or trying to eliminate imperfection, rather than learn how to internalize and reorder it, stops us from growing in wholeness and integration. And as we age, we miss the mark of integrity that fosters true love, joy and peace. We miss out on God’s desired perfection for us.

Center on growth.
Center on what integrates.
This is what matters most and connects us meaningfully with our loved ones, to God, and even the universe. This is the pathway of perfection.